We often hear about the challenges of being a foster kid in Milwaukee. First, you’re taken away from your parents because things aren’t going well at home. You’re placed in a new home – perhaps several different ones – and when you turn 18, you may find yourself on your own without much support. That means college is out of reach for many teenagers aging out of foster care. But WUWM’s Erin Toner found one young woman who is going on to higher education through hard work in school and help from caring people along the way.
Jessica Holden has a story that doesn’t seem like it would end with, “and off she goes to college.” This is the way her story starts, at 10 years old.
“My mom is schizophrenic, so I pretty much lived the first 10 years with her battling it, not really understanding what was going on, just assumed that my mom’s different than other peoples’ moms. And it wasn’t until my fifth grade teacher noticed I was kind of falling asleep in class that she asked me, and I said, ‘Well, I can’t sleep. My mom is up at all hours of the night, talking to people I can’t see and you know, really struggling with this.’ And that’s when she contacted social services and I was removed from the home at 10,” Jessica says.
That first night away from home, Jessica remembers she actually slept for the first time in years. She says she felt safe, and happy that her mom was going to be able to get help. Initially, the agreement was that Jessica could go back home if her mom took medication and saw a therapist.
“But quickly we discovered that sometimes she wouldn’t take her medicine. And I figured it was going to be a little too dangerous to just go back and try to monitor, ‘Mom, did you take your medicine? Mom, did you go see your therapist?’ And me and my mom both decided that it was probably in my best interest to stay in the foster care,” Jessica says.
That was eight years ago. Now, Jessica’s 18 and is thinking about her journey from a little girl with a sick mother, to a young woman headed for a life some people told her was not possible. She says after a few years, her first foster parent became verbally abusive.
“She would just constantly tell me, ‘You’re not going to really be anything. You might as well get ready to be someone’s wife and get your cooking skills up and stuff because no one’s going to want you cause you’re not going anywhere, you’re not going to college. And it wasn’t until another child entered the home that she began to grab her and move her around and kind of shake her and I couldn’t stand to see that, so we ran away. I grabbed her and we left,” Jessica says.
She was placed in a new home, and while Jessica says her new foster parents were nice, they weren’t supportive. They never showed up at any of her activities, like speech competitions, poetry readings or volleyball games. They also always introduced her as their foster child.
But Jessica remained hopeful during two years with that family, because she had met a woman who desperately wanted to be her legal guardian. The woman was working full time, going to school and taking classes to be a licensed foster parent.
“I remember one time she was sick. She had to have a temperature of 101, she needs to be at home. But she bundled up, put her scarf on, and went to that two-hour class and sat there, sick as ever. So that just showed me how determined, how caring she was and how much she cared for me even though I wasn’t related to her,” Jessica says.
Finally, Jessica had someone to share her love of forensics and poetry with, and her academic accomplishments. Despite the challenges in her childhood, Jessica did so well in school that she received more than $40,000 in scholarships to attend Northwestern University. She started her freshman year last month.
“That has to be one of the most gorgeous campus that I’ve ever been able to walk across. Everyone had this presence of, ‘I’m going to be something. Get out of my way, time is of the essence and I have to go save the world!’ And it just felt really nice, like, oh wow, I can be a part of this,” Jessica says.
Jessica plans to major in psychology. She says back when she first entered foster care, she saw several psychologists, but never felt like they could relate to her situation.
“And because I’ve had all this experience with social services and my own situation and my personal experiences, I think I could be able to relate to children more because I can give them my take and show them that, yes I do understand, I’ve been through this, I know what’s going on, let’s try to work this out. And I’m not concerned about how much money I’m going to make or what kind of lavish life I’m going to live. I just want to help people,” Jessica says.
If you are interested in volunteering to help teenagers in foster care, or need foster care resources, contact Kids Matter, Inc. at 344-1220 or by clicking here.
Share / Email
Print
Download
Email a Friend
Facebook
Del.icio.us
Stumble Upon
Digg
Newsvine
