When you think of “discovery” you may think of adventure, the unknown, or of “self-discovery”. We often discover something by accident! Some discoveries are heartbreaking, revelatory or just plain humorous. This episode was hosted by Kim Shine & Joel Dresang, edited by Sam Wood and features five stories centered on themes of “Discovery” from Annia Leonard, Jennifer Hoepner, Vaunda Montoya, Brian Hulseman and Dan Nierdoloh.
Episode transcript below from Ex Fabula's Real Storie MKE series.
Kim Shine: Welcome to Real Stories MKE, brought to you as part of Ex Fabula’s mission to connect Milwaukee through real stories. I'm Kim Shine.
Joel Dresang: And I'm Joel Dresang. Ex Fabula believes that everyone has personal stories worth sharing. Ex Fabula conducts storytelling workshops where community members can build their storytelling skills and confidence. And then there are those great, Ex Fabula StorySlams where true stories come to life on stage. In this episode of Real Stories MKE, we're bringing you five of those powerful stories.
Kim Shine: We just keep building and building. Yes, four last, episode, five this time.
Joel Dresang: We’ll have 20 by the end of the season!
Kim Shine: Well, season six is presented by Christine Symchych and Jim McNulty, and we thank you guys for your support. Our theme for this episode is “Discovery”. Life in Itself, to me, Joel, is discovery. Every single day we are uncovering something new about ourselves, others, and the universe as a whole. And sometimes these revelations can be life changing. Sometimes, and some other times they can just bring back sweet memories that turn into magic.
Kim Shine: Now I know that we usually share our stories, so I have one. A recent one, discovery that I made, okay? And it came from my trip to New York, about a month ago. Well, I guess a couple of months ago, depending on when this airs. So, I would definitely say I'm a big city person, and I travel to New York for a show, and I never really disliked Time Square, but this time around, maybe it's age, maybe I don't know.
Kim Shine: But I was like, oh my God, there's so much traffic. I do not want to be here. So, I think I could go for a show, but I definitely would have to stay in another neighborhood or another borough because the heart of Manhattan is too much.
Joel Dresang: You've got mass transit. That's great. Public transportation in there, so you can get around.
Kim Shine: There's no reason that it should take me an hour to get like five blocks.
Joel Dresang: No. You’re right.
Joel Dresang: Well, I have a recent discovery, too. Just this week, I, had my last meeting on a board with an organization that I've been involved with for 14 years. Oh, one. And what I discovered is that, I'm learning how to- to quit things better. I was born in the year of the dog. I'm a very loyal person.
Joel Dresang: I take it as a personal failure when I quit something. But I actually feel good about leaving this organization, which I care about a lot. And I actually think that they're better off with me gone, which is a bittersweet discovery.
Kim Shine: Yeah, but sometimes, you know, if- if there's a person who is more involved or has more time or can just do something different, sometimes change is good.
Joel Dresang: Yes, change is good.
Kim Shine: Well, Joel. Our first story comes from a Annia Leonard. You remember Craigslist?
Joel Dresang: It's still around.
Kim Shine: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Joel Dresang: Yeah.
Joel Dresang: Well, I do, yes I do.
Kim Shine: Annia talks about how she went online to find some intimacy and discovered a more intimate part of herself. She shared this story at AfterDark, Ex Fabula’s curated slam in 2020. Here's Annia.
Hello! It's a lot of people in here! So, 5 to 7 minutes. All right. I had just turned 19. I just moved to Chicago. I was a horndog. And I didn't have like, friends or whatever. So I, like, went on Craigslist and I made an ad and then a bunch of people responded and I was like, “F*ck no”.
And then, the one person that actually did, like, ended up like, standing me up. So, I was like “F*ck this”, I'm angry now. I'm so angry and horny. And so I decided to like, answer this random ad. And it was about this guy who wants to be stepped on. So, I was like, “Sh*t I feel like stepping on somebody”. So, imma pull up and step on him.
And it turned into a lot more. And it ended up being was that I found out that I was a dom (dominatrix). (Audience Cheers). I found out that I like dominating men older than me, way older than me. Like. And this guy was about 40 years old. So, me being 19 and tiny and like, you know (trills) trying to be aggressive and stepping on this man with my heels and stuff.
It was interesting. We recorded the whole thing, and I still have copies of it, so...
But yeah, it was awesome because I found out a lot about myself. I found out that I was a Dom, and I was, like, aggressive in that way. And it helped me, like through my sexuality, through my process of learning about my sexuality. So, yeah, that's my story.
Kim Shine: So, that was Annia, guys. And if you're wondering, if you want an update.
Joel Dresang: Update, we have an update from Annia.
Kim Shine: Annia is still doing work as a dominatrix. Oh yeah.
Joel Dresang: It's nice to have updates. Our next discovery story comes from Jennifer Hepner, who moved to Milwaukee after a breakup, then went to a party and then ended up with the commitment of a lifetime. She shared this story in 2019 at a StorySlam with the theme “Signs”. Here's Jennifer.
Jennifer Hoepner: I first moved to Milwaukee, after breaking up with my boyfriend. At the time, we had been living together in Madison, and it was shortly before the 50th - no, the 100th anniversary of Harley Davidson. And so, even though we were broken up, I knew it was going to be a real big party that weekend. And so I was like, Eric, come on, come on over.
Just for, you know, the Harley 100. The sex was still good. So, we had a real fun time that weekend. Real fun time. My daughter's in the room, so I'm going to just be kind of family friendly. But anyway, a few months after that, I, went with a coworker out to eat, and I went to one of those little places on a side street and got some real good catfish and fries, and it was so delicious.
Thoroughly enjoyed it, puked my guts out all night long, and I was so mad. And the next day I went to my coworker and I'm like, “you took me to this restaurant. And they had really good food, but I got food poisoning. I was barfing all night long and just puked my guts out”. And she was like, “oh, I'm so sorry...”
“We'll never go there again”. And then a couple weeks later, I'm out with some girlfriends and, I always have wine with dinner. That's a normal thing. But the waitress brought the wine, and just the mere smell of it made me want to vomit. And I was like, oh, why am I wanting to puke? And I'm feeling like I did the other night after the catfish, but I haven't even eaten yet and I haven't drank anything.
And my girlfriend looks at me and she says, “hey, are you pregnant”? And I said, “hell no, I'm not pregnant. You know, Eric and I broke up”, you know, whatever. I'm not. I can't be pregnant. I can't be pregnant. Well, that night I went to Walgreens and I purchased a pregnancy test, and I peed on it. And, you know, I got the sign saying “you're pregnant”.
I drove back to Walgreens, and I got another one, and I had the same checkout guy, and he looked at me and kind of smiled, and I said, “well, you know, you want to be sure with these kind of things”. And I got the same you're pregnant sign. After that. And I was extremely happy. And, And I love you, honey.
And I was so glad that I was pregnant. Thank you.
Joel Dresang: That was Jennifer Hepner, and it was from an Ex Fabula StorySlam in 2019.
Kim Shine: Our next one is a fun one. Comes from Vaunda Montoya as a flight attendant. She was taught how to do her job, but discovered that the job came with certain in-flight secrets. She shared her experience in October 2024 at the “Yikes” StorySlam. Here's Vaunda.
Vaunda Montoya: When you get hired as a flight attendant, they tell you you're going to go to training for six weeks. So, you think, “oh, I'm going to learn how to point out exits, say ‘buh bye’”. But that's not what happens when you get there. There's all these things that you train for heart attacks, strokes, CPR, choking, bomb threats.
We learn how to move a bomb on the plane to the least restrictive bomb place on the plane. It's the back door, by the way. We learn how to evacuate a plane. 175 people in 90 seconds. So, that's what we learn in flight attendant training. What we don't learn is how to interact with passengers, serve drinks, or work with our crew members.
So, my very first trip as a flight attendant, I showed up very nervous, thinking, I'm going to have to save the world when basically I'm just going to serve drinks. My crew is basically new, so they tell me, hey, you have rows 9 through 16. I have rows 9 through 9. We help each other out. If your - if your passengers need a drink, if they need trash, we work together.
Oh, it's a family. We work together. It's so fantastic. My second trip, I walked down the jet bridge and, my flight attendants, who are what we call “senior mamas”. They've been there about 30 years plus, and they introduce themselves. The lead flight attendant. She introduces herself and she tells me, “Hey, I see, I see your employee number...”
“And I just want you to know, I don't want you to come in my section. I work section one through eight. Do not come in my section. Don't do trash, don't do drinks. I got it. Keep to yourself.” They're sky goddesses to us. We will do anything for a Senior Mama. Okay. I'm so nervous. So, I don't go in her section.
Of course I'm not going to. So I take my drinks, drink orders, I do, I serve my drinks, I'm doing trash. And someone pokes me in the side because flight attendants love that. We love when you poke us in the side, because we go to your job and poke you in the side! Someone pokes me in the side and she says, “hey, can I get one of those hot dogs?”
I said, “we don't serve hot dogs”, and I finish, you know, I go through the rest of the cabin, do my trash. That flight ends, we get another flight, I do, I do my drink service, I'm doing my trash. And one of my people in my section says, “hey, can I get one of those hot dogs?” I was like, and it kind of does smell like hot dogs.
Strangely enough. So, I was like, “we don't serve hot dogs.” And she's like, “yes, you do.” So, I have to go up to the front. I know I was told not to go up to that section, but I'm very confused and I don't want to give someone, I don't want to not give someone a hot dog. I don't know what's happening.
So, I go up to the front and lo and behold, the Senior Mama working up there... She has coffee cups filled with coffee. But the coffee pot has hot water in it, and hot dogs. She's warming up hot dogs... In the coffee pot. And I was like, “hey, are you serving hot dogs?” And she's like, “I told you not to come up here!”
I was like, “I know, but people are asking for a hot dog.” She's like, “I told you not to come up here!” And she literally takes two 20s out of her pocket. She hands it to me and she said, “get out of my section and don't say anything to anyone.”
And I was like, “Um...okay”. So, I don't say anything to anyone. However, when everyone. So, it's the end of the flight and everyone is saying goodbye, we're saying bye bye to the passengers. Everyone's walking off and one passenger says, “oh my God, you girls did a great, you did a great service today. I'm going to write-in ‘thanks for the hot dogs’”.
And I was like, “yikes”!
So, the next time you order a coffee or a hot tea, you might want to think what was cooking in that pot? I'm just saying.
Joel Dresang: That was Vaunda Montoya. I was actually at that StorySlam, and I think she won the crowd favorite, for that story. Yeah, that was a great, fun one. Yeah.
Kim Shine: And also, you're always at the Slams, I love it!
Joel Dresang: No, I'm not - I just happened to be. Yeah, but but that was that was a fun one. Hey, Kim. Yeah. How about an UltraShort?
Kim Shine: I would love to do an UltraShort, because they’re a way for people to get involved in the show without actually being involved in the show.
Joel Dresang: Yes, they're non storytellers, but everybody has stories, so they just write a short story on a slip of paper and the emcee reads it.
Kim Shine: Yeah. Do you have one?
Joel Dresang: I do, this one is from anonymous. “The day I found out the man in my life for five years had lied about his military service, think stolen valor. He knelt on one knee, presented a ring, and asked me to marry him. I left the relationship so quickly and never told him what a dirtbag he is.”
Kim Shine: Oh, no.
Joel Dresang: Consider that message delivered right?
Kim Shine: This one is also anonymous. And you know, I could see this this happening, “Despite always having a dog. When I was growing up, I always really wanted a cat. My dad told me he was allergic, and 20 years later I found out he wasn't.” I'm mad for you. Okay.
Joel Dresang: Kim, here's an UltraShort from Matt. “I've discovered since sitting here that the crotch of my pants is ripped quite wide open. Can't help but wonder how many people have gotten a chance to know me a bit better throughout the day.” That's quite a discovery.
Kim Shine: Oh my gosh. Hello! This one is from Vegetables For Life. “I'm a 35-year-old vegetarian who just discovered I do like green beans.”
Joel Dresang: Okay, Kim, our next discovery story is about a tale of two brothers. During a 2023 story slam with the theme exes Brian Hulseman shared his story about an uncomfortable dating discovery. Here's Brian.
Brian Hulseman: All right, where to start? Well, I come from a very Irish family. Very afraid and stoic about talking about the birds and the bees with their kids. The only reason that I know that my parents dated at all is because there's 13 of us. Which which in Irish terms, is just showing off to your friends.
But we never we never really got a whole conversation about what to do when you like a girl. Let alone when a girl likes you, who's also 12 years older than you. So, coming out of college, I had just finished up. I was working in a little cycling studio, doing some fitness, just working on the front desk, and one of the members comes up to me and especially chatty.
I'm not very good at picking up on signals, but occasionally when somebody stays 30 minutes after the ride and just is talking to you about their life and their house, that's usually my cue to say, okay, maybe this is something that's something that's happening right now. Long story short, nothing happens. I moved to Milwaukee.
Two years later, I wake up and I see I get a message on Instagram at 2 a.m. It's from this girl. Just ignore it for a little bit. Just let it go. Let it go. Talk to somebody. Just see, like, hey, is this normal? Like, no, this is a red flag. It's a big red flag. But one night I'm down in Chicago, I'm visiting some friends for a birthday party, and I see we're just showing my buddy a really good birthday party we're seeing.
He just has so much love in his life. And it's got me driving back at 1:00 am at night, where I make a mistake. That happens a lot. A bad decision at 1:00, and I go up and visit this girl. Stay the night, and then we're on again, off again, for about six months.
Until I get to a reunion for my college, do a swim meet where, one of the posts goes online, gets on my profile, and then some of my teammates had commented, hey, looking good. The girl I was seeing, another red flag didn't take that too well that I knew girls in college, took it rather personally.
So, you know, at that point, it started getting a little bit violent. Not violent. I'm sorry, a little bit, paranoid, a little bit suspicious of just having friends outside of her. So, at that point, I just say, “you know what?” It's been fun. We just gotta. We got to cut it out, and I have to, at a certain point to block her on all social media just because this is relentless, messaging.
So, later, about two months later, I'm in Chicago going to see a concert with some friends from high school, hadn't seen in 4 or 5 years. So, I was really excited to see this, i’m staying with my brother - who I convinced to go out with me. His name is Michael and his wife. As we're there and enjoying the concert, one of my old water polo teammates comes up to me and says, “hey, your brother's here”.
I was like, oh, no, he's right here. “No, your other brother”. I was like, oh, I don't know- why didn’t he tell me? So, I go over, go over to say “hi” to my brother. He's actually the one I am closest with in age. He is the seventh. I'm the eighth. He's also the one I swam with on a swim team, played water polo with the guy who introduced us.
Also was one of our water polo teammates. He comes up and he says, “yeah, yeah, come on, check it out. He's- he's being bothered by his ex right now”. And it is at that point I realize that me and my brother were a lot closer than I thought.
As I see walking up right around the bar, there's Megan in a red, you know, it's red. So it really popped out and my immediate reaction was to double back and run. I spilled my buddy's drink because it was such a forceful, gut instinct to just turn around and book it out of there. However, as awkward as that was, thankfully I was not the center of attention that night.
As I was actually her rebound from my brother all right. So, no really good way to end this. Just, After the fact, as we both realize. Oh, why is she standing behind you? Why she's standing behind you, bothering you? Oh, had to come to that conclusion on our own. We just go our separate ways that night, and at that point, you realize, you know, sometimes references are good.
Sometimes it's good to just check with your family members to make sure she's not also talking to you and I. I immediately texted my younger brother, hey, if this girl messaged you on Instagram tonight or ever walk away, walk away. Thank you.
Joel Dresang: That was Brian Hulseman from a StorySlam in 2023. Hey Kim, more UltraShorts? Of course, I've got another one. This one is from anonymous. “Having two failed marriages, I have discovered that failure is an acquired taste. As painful as the discomfort was, it forced growth and is thus welcome.” That's a nice perspective.
Kim Shine: Yes. And that's what we talked about earlier. Change is good. Growth is good. All is good. When you're moving forward, right?
Joel Dresang: Yes, yes. Discover that!
Kim Shine: This one here is from anonymous. “My friend and I were driving from DC to North Carolina, and I convinced her to take a detour by saying it's only one inch farther on the map to see the country's longest bridge. After the bridge, we found out it had been a four hour detour. My angry friend slept through the rest of the trip while I navigated the back roads of Virginia using paper maps alone.”
Kim Shine: Not like that, because an inch. That's a long time. It's a long a long distance.
Joel Dresang: Thank goodness for GPS.
Kim Shine: So, our final story, Joel, is from Dan Niederloh. He said his mom wasn't the best cook, but one beloved tradition helped him rediscover the magic that recipes can bring, especially during the holiday season. And Dan, who's a professional chef, shared this story back in 2010 at a comfort food slam at the Fondie Food Market.
Dan Niederloh: Hello. Good morning, everyone. First, a little backstory. I'm a professional chef. I've been cooking for 20 years in restaurants, whatnot. I've been cooking for myself all my life. I've created, you know, elaborate, time intensive, exquisite cuisines of the world for demanding palates. My mission statement boils down to five simple words. Make people happy with food. And my belief has always been as long as I hold true to that goal, regardless of the ingredients or the preparation that carries through love and care.
It's tasted in every bite when I make something, that's what comfort food means to me. It's evocative, it's emotional. It's even sensual. You know, when we taste something, it can remind us of, of our mother's gentle touch, grandmother's kind words and even the seductive embrace of a lover. You know, food connects us to each other. It connects us to the earth.
It's the unifying force the world over. I've got to connect. I've got a confession to make. My mother couldn't cook. Props to her. She raised four kids, fed us, and kept us in good stead. But there are very few fond memories of eating my mother's cooking growing up. That may explain why I started cooking as soon as I could figure out how to operate the stove.
But I do have a very fond memory from my childhood. The Santa Claus stomach. Every Christmas, as far back as I can remember, my mother made us this concoction and served it to us for dessert at Christmas, and it was simplicity itself. I don't know if she made the recipe up or got it out of some dusty better homes and gardens.
Easy, quick things to do to shut your kids up. This was vanilla ice cream and red jello blasted in the blender, poured into dessert cups where it would resolidify into a pink, gelatinous mass that ended up looking very sort of ho ho ho and jiggled in a very Santa belly like way. As simple as this was, this represented the holiday to us kids, and we knew it was Christmas.
When this came to the table, and this would never appear any other time but Christmas in our house. Or it would simply kill something. You know, it was bad enough when I realized that Santa wasn't the one putting gifts under the tree. It was my mom. And I remember the night that she worked late and I was home alone, and I and, you know, snuck into her closet in her bedroom and I found a pile of wrapped gifts that all had tags on them that said, “From Santa”. I immediately felt guilt and shame for finding her little deception, and later realized that all she was doing was trying to create a little bit of...
magic for us in the only way she knew how. When we were growing up. And that's what growing up really comes down to is when you think, as a child, that something is just pure magic and you find out that really all it is, is a lot of hard work and love. And that's what cooking is to me.
So, many times I've had people taste my food and say, “this is magic. How do you do this”? And I just think “I just made something. I just assembled ingredients”, but I did it with a lot of care and a lot of love. And that is, in a nutshell, what comfort food is. It's when you can taste that with the food on your plate, regardless of what it is.
The little epilogue to the story is, as a father, I tried to introduce Santa Claus stomachs to my kids one Christmas. So, I got the I got the Jell-O and I got the ice cream, and I blended it up, and I. I really oversold this thing to my family. And when I served it up, they couldn't get over the name.
My wife's going, why don't they call this “Santa's belly or Santa's tummy or something cute?” My kids are going “Yeah. It's like Santa's vomited in a bowl.” So, I said, “fine, you guys, I'm going to let this memory die a regal death and create a new one for my family”, because I believed in the tradition, and I wanted something that my kids could carry on.
So, I remember that when I was going to chef training in London, I used to love getting these Madelaine cookies. I don't know if anyone's had them. There are delectable little French butter cookie that's shaped like a scallop and I went and got the appropriate pans and I started making these every Christmas morning just so my kids would grow up and have that memory.
And every time they saw or smelled madeleines; it would remind them of Christmas. And so, I just like to think that I carried on that legacy, even though the Santa Claus stomach's only made it through our family, one generation. Thanks.
Kim Shine: That was Dan. I would love to try his food someday because food brings me comfort.
Joel Dresang: I love the sense of making people happy with food.
Kim Shine: Oh my god, yes, I will smile all the time. Well, that was all the time that we have for this episode of Real Stories MKE. But don't you guys worry has been at this since 2009 and there are so many more audio and video stories available at exfabula.org.
Joel Dresang: The Ex Fabula-website lists upcoming storytelling workshops and StorySlams. Check it out. We hope you'll join us at an event and maybe even share one of your stories. You can also connect with Ex Fabula on Facebook, Instagram and TikTok, and you can subscribe to Real Stories MKE wherever you get podcasts.
Kim Shine: Yeah, it sounds like a good thing to do. Thanks to everyone who makes this program possible, including the Ex Fabula staff, storytellers, supporters including the Greater Milwaukee Foundation and Transfer Pizzeria Café. We also want to thank producer, Jordan Terry and audio engineer Sam Woods.
Joel Dresang: Thanks, Sam! For Real Stories, MKE. I'm Joel Dresang.
Kim Shine: And I'm Kim Shine. Thank you, guys, for listening. And be sure to think about telling your own stories as well.