It’s said that “home is where the heart is”. Our dwellings contain the physical manifestation of our memories and histories, our hopes and dreams, our cultures and relationships. Whether we’ve lost homes, are searching for a place to live, or have a home - it can reflect the broader cultural and social forces outside of our control. This episode was hosted by Kim Shine & Joel Dresang, edited by Sam Woods and features four stories focused on the theme of “Dwelling” from Hannah Rahmanparah, Sue Blaustein, Mitchelle Lyle and Shannon Byrne.
Episode transcript below from Ex Fabula's Real Storie MKE series.
Joel Dresang: Welcome to Real Stories MKE brought to you as part of Ex Fabula’s mission to connect Milwaukee through real stories. I’m Joel Dresang...
Kim Shine: And I'm Kim Shine. Ex Fabula believes that everybody has personal stories worth sharing. And so Ex Fabula conducts storytelling workshops where folks can build their skills and their confidence. And they also host story slams where true tales are shared on stage. And today we are bringing you four of those stories.
Joel Dresang: This season of Real Stories MKE is presented by Christine Symchych and Jim McNulty, and our theme for this episode is “Dwelling”. Where we dwell is more than just an address. It's where we take refuge, where we collect our thoughts, where we plan our dreams, and there are stories behind how we got to where we live and what that place means to us.
Joel Dresang: As we'll hear our dwellings inspire stories about personal independence, intergenerational support, social injustice and more. Our first dwelling story comes from Hannah Rahmanparah at a 2024 Ex Fabula StorySlam with the theme “Adulting”. Hannah shared her story about the achievement of finding her own place to live. Here's Hannah.
Hannah Rahmanparah: So, I want to share my story about how I first got my own apartment.
So, a long time ago, I had lived in a house in, Elm Grove with my mom and my sister and my dad, who is no longer here. But it was a very fun house, and. And I had some good memories of that house. We had- we had a pool in our backyard. And I remember having a lot of this summer swimming and our pool.
And my mom vacuuming the pool. We - even have a grill and an in our back yard.
And we had Christmas parties out of it. Always. So, I have a lot of good memories about the holidays, but things changed. My, my sister had moved out to go to college when she was 18. And my dad - well my dad passed away. So, it was just me and my mom and my dog.
And sometimes me and my mom was having some arguments. Right? Mother and daughter still. And so, I wanted my own space and to live at my own, apartment. So I have friends who his parents buy an apartment building and, and I remember telling them that, it's, there's an moving and they are building and that we have that opportunity and, and, and, and I was very happy about it because.
That was also the other way to gain independence. And I know in my, in my own space and being the best version of myself. And so.
When I stayed in my apartment, I found that and still have a great life in my home, because I live right next door to my friends. So, so, so I feel less lonely. My mom and Stan, I mean, there's so many. And I have mentors who come and help me through things. Around my apartment and, and and so, for the for my.
It's and. And I have a great group of friends. Who? I live right next door to,
And I do have responsibilities that I have to deal. But, but but also my home.
But also my home allows me to do all the things I like to do and that's nice. And then I also have the three jobs, the other that somewhat keeps me very busy and- And so I feel very thankful to have my apartment and, and I'm happy to call it my own home.
Joel Dresang: That was Hannah Rahmanparah. Among other things, Hannah is a performer with Milwaukee's Pink Umbrella Theater Company, through which she has participated in Ex Fabula storytelling workshops.
Kim Shine: Not bad. Yeah, well. We have another story for you guys, and it comes from Sue Blaustein in 2017 at the “Only in Milwaukee” Slam, Sue told about her first experience with housing discrimination and how it spurred her into action. Here's Sue.
Sue Blaustein: I moved to Milwaukee in 1979. I'd grown up in New York. I lived in Madison for five years, and I made it here. And tonight I just went to an event before I came here. It was an open house from a organization that I have a really long history with, the Metropolitan Milwaukee Fair Housing Council. And, in 2017, we are going to celebrate, I believe, the 50th anniversary of, Federal Fair Housing Act.
And my time in Milwaukee, a few years into my time in Milwaukee, I got to intersect with this interesting slice because Milwaukee has a very rich history in the area of, fair housing. I had a really nice upper flat, 41st Street, just north of Hampton Avenue. It was the upper flat above the owners of the house.
They were an elderly couple. I was a lot younger then, and it was a great place. Great price. Close to my work. I worked at W.H. Brady then, and, the only thing was, the landlord was really nosy. I don't know if that was just the Milwaukee phenomenon, but he was really nosy, very paternal, which I guess was nice.
I would come and go. I worked second shift a lot of the time, but somehow he always managed to be at the back door when I was coming or going. “Oh, Susan, what are you doing? Oh, you worked overtime on Saturday? Yeah, I thought we saw you leave early.” And I'm like, oh my God, I was feeling a little smothered.
But anyhow, nice apartment, good location. I kind of put up with it. Actually, I didn't live there right away. But anyhow, 1983, I started dating a Black man, and he would come visit me, and they met- I introduced them to him, you know, because they're always at the back door when I'm going up, you know, and I have decent manners.
“Hi. You know, this is Maurice. He's a friend of mine.” “Oh, okay.” Anyhow, on Mother's Day. This is great. On Mother's Day, he had my. He had spent the night before, and when he left in the morning. And then not long after that, my landlord said, “Susan, can we talk to you?” And I go downstairs. His wife had always been kind of on the quiet side.
She says to me, “are you running a cat house up there?” I was like, “whoa!” And he said to me, “you know, we can't have this, Susan. We have lots of nice things in this house.”
And I was like, okay, now I wasn't very strategic about working the law. So I jumped the gun and said, “fine, I'm out of here.” And I found another apartment. But I also had a lot of activist friends. I was an activist, and I knew about the Fair Housing Council, and I went to them and I told them what happened, and they said, “yeah, you have some recourse.”
Even though it's owner occupied building. And there's a lot of details involved. I had to write up a narrative of what happened. They said, well, you should go back and discuss it with them because it's better if he actually evicts you. You kind of jumped the gun by, like, I'm out of here. But anyhow, to make a long story short, they did help me recall this is what, 1983?
They helped me recover some money from my moving expenses, and I became a volunteer investigator for them. As a result of this. And that's a really wonderful way to learn that discrimination and racism doesn't always have that ugly, hateful face where they're just going to say, “no, we don't rent to you people”, but the things that I was told when I went to seek a unit and the things that people of color were told when they presented similar income and other characteristics, the things that they were told about availability, it's like, okay, this has been laid bare.
What goes on and maybe not only in Milwaukee, but definitely a feature of life here. And at 40 years, they still shouldn't be having to pursue these things, but they're alive and kicking.
Kim Shine: That was Sue Blaustein. And here's an update from her. She says she does remember that she paid $250 a month for that place, and was making around $8 to $9 an hour back then, she said “with wages so stagnant and racism and discrimination alive and well, she wonders how anyone keeps a roof over their heads at all”.
Joel Dresang: Homeownership has become so expensive that many people need years and years to afford a place of their own, if they can even get that. That was the case with Shannon Burns and her wife, and once they finally got a house, it needed a little fixing up. That's when Shannon encountered a situation that well turned into a story. Here's Shannon.
Shannon Byrne: I signed up five minutes ago, so we'll see how this goes. Thank you. So earlier this year in June, my wife and I bought our first house after 12 years of saving. We were so excited. Thank you. We had learned from a lot of advice that if there was anything we wanted to change about the bare bones of the house, you were supposed to do it before you moved in.
So, there was this ugly carpet on the, on the main floor. We were going to- we were going to rip it all out, replace it with the original hardwood underneath, you know, cause we're classy. And so, as that was getting done, it was a three day process. We couldn't move in for a couple more weeks, but my friend and I were hanging out, and she was like, I really, really want to see your new place.
I said, absolutely, it was late at night. We came over. There was sawdust everywhere. He was only halfway through this process. And I realized that I really had to pay. Now we are wise. Brand new homeowners. That, you know, the first thing you do when you move into a new place, you bring the toilet paper, you bring the towel, you bring the hand soap.
Because that's the first. That's the first need you have as a human being. Now. So, I say, “oh, don't worry about me. I'll be back in a few minutes.” My friend is sitting out in the living room, completely stark. Nothing adorned. Empty living room with no lights in it either. Closed door and I open the, open the toilet, and I see that it is just all the way to the top with the four rolls of toilet paper that we had brought to the house.
I'm like, what on earth was this maintenance guy doing? And I go to flush it all down. Well, obviously.
You know, the toilet must not have been working for multiple days. That he had been there, hadn't given us a call whatsoever. And not only do I now see that this, toilet is overflowing, I have the cutest little outfit on. I have this jumpsuit on that, hitches at the neck and also has a belt, and you have to zip it all the way down in the back, and I have to pee so bad.
So, the toilet is overflowing. Like emergency is eminent. I'm just, like, unhinging my shoulder blades. I'm doing the little wiggle dance and has anybody seen the movie “Bridesmaids”? All of the gals in that movie, they, have some really bad tacos or something like that. They all get simultaneous diarrhea. And, you see some very creative ways that, multiple people, when they all have an urgent need, figure out what to do.
Now, there is this lovely, cute little pedestal sink in this brand new, in this brand new house about this high. Completely forgot about the idea of using the shower. And completely, completely ditch this, ditch this jumpsuit all the way on the floor. I hop on in the pedestal seat. I do what I need to do, and you see, this toilet is starting to continue to overflow, and it just comes in SOPs up my cute little jumpsuit.
And, I hadn't even realized the noises I had been making during this time until I finished my business sitting here in the, the pedestal sink. And my friend from the other end coast. “Is everything okay?” Yikes.
Joel Dresang: That was Shannon Byrne from a 2024 StorySlam with the theme “Yikes”.
Kim Shine: I like that name for a theme.
Joel Dresang: Hey Kim, how about a couple of UltraShorts?
Kim Shine: I would love to do that.
Joel Dresang: So, UltraShorts are little tiny stories that people put on pieces of paper and they're read by emcees at our events.
Kim Shine: Yeah, if you don't want to go on stage, you can still be part of the fun.
Joel Dresang: Here's an UltraShort that Ex Fabula collected as part of a 2023 partnership with HCNI, the Historic Concordia Neighbors, Inc.. It's from Chastity and Chastity says “I graduated from Milwaukee High School of the Arts in 2000. Sometimes my friends and I would skip 8th hour to do quote unquote, ‘bad things’. We'd just drive through the HCNI neighborhood admiring the houses...”
“It's my dream to have bought my first home here. I have a long, rich history with the HCNI.”
Kim Shine: Well, here's one from Mike Heider. “First day in my new house. The neighbor sees me, comes over and says, ‘hi, I'm Bob. Do you have a lawn mower yet, or do you need to borrow mine?’”
Joel Dresang: Oh, is that passive aggressive? *laughs*
Kim Shine: Well, our final dwelling story comes from Mitchelle Lyle. Mitchelle grew up in the Imani neighborhood on Milwaukee's north side, and once she moved away, she figured she'd never be back. But fate had other plans. Here's Mitchelle.
Mitchelle Lyle: When I moved back, my sister and I sat on the porch and thought about those same kids that we played with that were now either dead or in prison. And this was not a home that I wanted to come back to. My goal was to go somewhere else and rebuild with a lifestyle. That was aligned with what I imagined.
I bought a house in the suburbs. I made sure restaurants were in walking distance. I looked up crime rates to make sure they were low.
I actively did everything opposite of what I grew up with. In my mind, I was a college graduate and needed to build wealth. Specifically, generational wealth. That idea became very real to me when my grandparents house on 30th and Burleigh was torn down.
My older sister was so angry and hurt. I remember her yelling at her father through the phone, so upset that he could have given it to her so they would have something.
I remember the day it was torn down and the tears that kept...
The tears that came and the tears that followed. When I drive past 30th and Burleigh. I still have memories.
You see, when we were displaced, that was where she went. That was her second home. And she also had ten more years of memories that had been taken away.
I was saddened in that moment, but didn't understand the significance until years later.
This is when we started to receive the notices... I’m gonna get through it y’all, I'm sorry.
This is when we started to see the notices for the house in Amani, that the city had deemed a vacant, that we were paying fines. That it was out of code and then at risk of being torn down. Suddenly I better understood what she really felt that day and what we truly lost. Many years ago are the memories, the legacy and that generational wealth...
I thought I was building.
I returned.
I returned to Amani, to our house. I looked at the vandalism that was left behind from drug addicts breaking in and selling metal for scrap. Then rifling through our things because we all left. And it had become a time capsule. The oddness of it looking, looking so similar to what I moved into as a six year old. I found myself, with the help of my nieces and nephews, cleaning out the house again, seeing the things that were broken, the furniture, the clothes, and the random debris left behind.
As everyone moved on to different chapters of their lives. I am truly a proud Amani resident. I have been in this house ever since. I have been trying to make it as comfortable as possible so that everybody comes back to home.
Then none of those memories are torn down.
That we still sit there and laugh about them around the dinner table. And this is where we collect as a family.
After working, I better understood that my parents did this... did all have these things the best way they could with the resources that they had. Because even though we struggled on some days, we were never homeless.
I've done some remodeling, painting and updating bathrooms and kitchens, but one of the things my nieces and nephews pushed me to keep is an old ceiling fan that my father installed when they were toddlers. This fan has the alphabet, numbers, primary colors, and green on it’s blades. In the early days of cleaning out the house, they made note of remembering lying in bed, looking up at that same ceiling fan and being able to answer the quiz questions of...
What color is this letter? What color is this number? Hearing them share the stories. It really made me feel good that I was holding on to something that was beyond me.
Even as they're young adults now and having their own children. As I repainted and moved things out, they still continue to ask me, “what are you going to do with that fan? You can't take the fan down.” My living room. Our shades of gray and red with the fan as primary colors and the alphabet on it.
I had to realize that this was a part of their childhood, and this was one of the memories that they communally shared together. This was one of the things that was connected to my father, who died when they were toddlers, and that was also connected to me in this house. Now, those same nieces and nephews have their own children, and I see them do the same thing in the living room, pointing at the ceiling fan and asking, what color is this or that?
Shannon Byrne: Despite my attempt to run from this house, to run from Amani. To build this idea of generational wealth and this entire life that I thought was better. I'm still here. I am still actively trying to restore this house in this neighborhood and everything that I've learned. I try to pour into it. It makes me feel good that I have created a legacy...
Mitchelle Lyle: From something that had come out of us being displaced. I have monthly Sunday dinners with the family, all my siblings, all their children and all of their children. Our house is full and loud with all the conversations, laughter, memories, food and love. It's such an amazing time for all of us to be there. All four generations of families sitting around the same dinner table where I was when I received my first birthday song from the random friends...
When we moved on 23rd Street in Amani. Thank you.
Kim Shine: That was Mitchelle Lyle, who told her story at a 2024 fundraiser for the Dominican Center, which works with Amani residents and partners to build a better future.
Joel Dresang: That's all the time we have for this episode of Real Stories MKE, but there's more where this came from. Ex Fabula has been championing storytelling since 2009 and has plenty of audio and video stories at exfabula.org.
Kim Shine: Yep, you can check out upcoming storytelling workshops and slams. You can find an event that works for you and join in on the storytelling. You can also connect with Ex Fabula on Facebook, Instagram and TikTok. They're pretty fun. You can also subscribe to Real Stories MKE, There's a plug right there. Wherever you find your podcasts.
Joel Dresang: Thank you and thanks to everyone who works on this podcast and this program, and makes it possible, including Ex Fabula staff, the storytellers, community partners including Amani United, Pink Umbrella and HCNI. And thanks to our producer Jordan Terry and always audio engineer Sam Woods.
Kim Shine: Yeah, for Real Stories MKE, I'm Kim Shine.
Joel Dresang: And I'm Joel Dresang, remember everybody has stories worth sharing. Think of telling yours.