Over the course of our lives, strangers figure into some of our most memorable stories. We accept the kindness of strangers, we extend our own generosity to strangers. And though there are reasons for stranger danger, sometimes strangers end up becoming our best friends. This episode of Real Stories MKE explores stories of strangers as told by Meg Gleason, Tim Farley, Tom Kertscher and Carrie Paredes. The episode is hosted by Kim Shine and Joel Dresang and edited by Sam Woods.
Episode transcript below from Ex Fabula's Real Storie MKE series.
Kim Shine: Welcome to Real Stories MKE, brought to you as part of Ex fabula’s work to connect Milwaukee through real stories. I'm Kim Shine.
Joel Dresang: And I'm Joel Dresang. Everybody has a story worth sharing. Ever since 2009, Ex Fabula has been fostering storytelling as a way of building community. Ex Fabula, conducts workshops to help folks explore and articulate their stories. And it hosts StorySlams where true stories are shared on stage. In this episode, we're bringing you four more of those inspiring stories.
Kim Shine: Yeah, that's right, because the theme of this episode is strangers and we've all been warned about them. With the “stranger danger” kind of thing. But strangers really do figure into most of our stories in life. Sometimes they show us unexpected kindness, or they get our good deeds when we're being generous. And sometimes strangers really do end up becoming our best friends.
Joel Dresang: Sometimes I try to overcome my shyness with strangers by telling myself that strangers are just friends who don't know me yet. And one of my favorite things about storytelling is finding connections from strangers through someone's personal story that makes them, makes that person and their experience more familiar.
Kim Shine: Not bad. Not a bad way to look at it. Our first stranger story comes from Meg Gleason, And now Meg shares how a person she didn't know made a remarkable experience much more memorable for her because instead of staying away from strangers, they shared the joy of cruising together. Here's Meg.
Meg Gleason: My name is Meg. I've been a member for...I don't even know how long! I've been to so many of these, and I've never had the nerve or the inclination to get up and tell a story because it was so scary. But I've been thinking a lot and telling a story a lot about something that happened last summer.
We had a chance to go to Summer Fest because Smokey Robinson was playing and I mean good music. That was- that's the story of my life is the 45’s. When I was really little and dancing in a line dance in college with all of the other people that rented places up and down Mifflin Street. And, so we had a chance to go, and I went with my partner in crime who was not moving around real well because of medical things that had happened, but things were just falling into place.
I pulled up to drop them off near a gate, and somebody pulled out of a parking space, and I went right there. And then we got to the gate to ask which- where we could get in. And the guy took one look at us somewhere and just come on in. And we walked up to where Smokey Robinson was going to be playing.
And somebody saw us move and not very easily, and went, come on in and sit in the handicapped section. We went, which is of course, is right up in front. And we were like, okay, so we sat right down and I looked over and there's a woman next to me, and she is sitting in her scooter, and she's got her, little tubes that have her oxygen coming in, and she's got all kinds of paraphernalia or whatever, and she's kind of agitating.
And they said, you need some help. And she said, “I should take my scooter to the bathroom before this all starts. But, you know, I've been waiting my whole life to see Smokey Robinson. I'm not moving. Somebody might take my space.” And I said I'd save your space for you. And she went, nope. “I'd be too scared to lose my space.”
So, we sat there together, and of course, Smokey Robinson came out and was fabulous. And up and down the stages, and she's all excited and she's singing along every song, whatever. And finally he comes to the last bit and he is asking someone from one side of the audience to come up and help people sing “Cruisin’ Together”, We all know, and somebody from the other side of the audience to come up and lead “Cruisin’ together”.
And when he comes over to our side to pick somebody to come up, he takes one look at Joanne, who's next to me, and that's it. It's got to be her. So he beckons her up to come up and Joanne stands up, rips the oxygen out, throws it down, throws down her cane, somehow gets herself right up on that stage.
And she's singing along and she's really excited and we're all really excited for her. And at the very end of the song, after everybody claps for her, Smokey Robinson puts his arm around her and walks her off the stage. Actually, she floated off the stage and and everybody's really excited. And that was the end of the show and everybody's, “wow, this was so fabulous”.
And- and they're leaving. And I look over, there's her purse laying open, there's her oxygen laying on the ground, and there's no Joanne. So I said to security, I feel bad leaving because Joanne stuff is still here. And- and I don't know where she is. And he says, were you with her? And of course, my friend says, yes, we are.
If she's backstage, we're with her. So we went back, found Joanne, asked her for her phone number and said that we would send her all the pictures we took and all of the videos that we took and them to the next as soon as we could. So that night we sent them to her and the next morning my friend wakes up and goes, “we never heard back from Joanne.
Better call her and see if she's gotten them” and called up. And I said, “hi Joanne, this is Meg. I sat next to you and, brought your scooter to you, and we sent you videos and we sent you pictures. Did you get any?” And Joanne said, “oh, yeah, I was up most of the night calling on my relatives, and I've been up since about seven this morning, calling all my friends to send them a copy of that.”
And I thought to myself it was a fabulous concert. But there's something about being with people who are that enthusiastic that makes the music and makes the concert all that much better. So thank you, Joanne.
Kim Shine: That was Meg Gleason, and Meg is a long time Ex Fabula member, and that was her first time sharing a story. It was at the 2023 StorySlam with the theme Good Music.
Joel Dresang: Kim, should we do some ultra shorts?
Kim Shine: Oh yeah.
Joel Dresang: Okay, so Ultra Shorts are little, bitty, tiny stories that people put on a slip of paper at our events and the host read to them. Here's an ultra short from Taylor Seed. “I moved to Milwaukee in September 2022. Two months later, I met a woman who happened to be my neighbor and she's taken me in as a non bio daughter.
I found family in this neighborhood”.
Kim Shine: This one here is from Dinosaur. “Met a man at Mad Planet last Halloween. I was dressed as a dinosaur, and he was a mailman with a big package, which means he had a huge fake. ‘You know what’. So, we drunkenly danced and partied without exchanging numbers. Sad face. I saw him last week, and he told me about the missed connection.
He wrote about me something like mail man with big package looking for a dancing dinosaur. I asked him how many creepy responses he got and he said too many to count. But on the upside, we're going out this week.” And I want to note that the Missed Connection thing, I think that it's on Facebook, but it's some type of place where you can go and say, “hey, I met this person”.
In this place. They looked like this.
Joel Dresang: A social media lost and found.
Kim Shine: Basically for people, for strangers.
Joel Dresang: Okay. For strangers. Our next stranger story comes from Tim Farley. Tim tells about the kindness of strangers and how he faced a situation where he had to consider helping a stranger in order to save a friend. Here's Tim.
Tim Farley: Thank you. My match is, going to be a little bit different than everybody else's. Mine has to do with, a kidney donation. So, to- to back it up. There's, a friend of mine in New Orleans. I ended up in Milwaukee from New Orleans because of Hurricane Katrina. That's a whole other story that we'll skip.
But, while I was there, I had opened a restaurant on Frenchmen Street. With. Any of you been there? It's right outside the French Quarter. and the restaurant I opened, like, half a block away. There was a bar, which is like blues and jazz DBA. It's fantastic place. And I became really, really good friends with the manager of DBA.
He'd come in the restaurant. I'd go hang out at his bar, like, we also both served on the board for a neighborhood association. And so we, you know, we were pretty good friends while we lived there. Hurricane Katrina was 2005, so I've been in Milwaukee since 2005, I regularly go back to New Orleans to see my friends catch up... in 2019.
I went there with, Kelly, my partner sitting there. and so when we're there, of course, I'm introducing to everyone I know in the city and, of course, I'm like, oh, I've got to introduce you to Michael. Like, yeah, he's. Everyone loves it. Yeah. Michael is affectionately known as big Mike because, when I sit next to him, I look like a munchkin.
He's about this tall, And big Mike is one of those guys that looks, like, super intimidating. But, you know, he's got a heart of gold, and he's, you know, the first guy to give you a hug. So, I'd seen him in 2019. Then, of course, we had Covid. and then right after, you know, shortly after Covid is winding down in- it was in May of 2021...
He had, Michael had to go to the E.R. because he was feeling very sick. and it turns out they told him that he had, like, end stage renal failure. So he was at 10 to 15% kidney function. And it was basically, you need a kidney transplant. I am not a person who ever thought that I was going to donate an organ to somebody.
It just, you know, wasn't on the list, wasn't on the bucket list. But I think what happened is, you know, in that time frame, after watching so many things in the world that I had no choice about and so many things that I couldn't change, you know, I had to survive, you know, a presidency that I couldn't stand, like, having to live through Covid.
And at the same time, my, you know, my ex-wife, had lymphoma. And so she was going through chemotherapy. So, you know, despite the fact, through a divorce, like, she's still the mother of my children, you know, I care. So when- when Michael was sick, it I felt so passionate about it because I was like, if I could do this, this would be...
I could fix one thing. In all the things that are messed up in the world, I could- I could fix one thing, I could make one good thing happen. And so I'm like, okay, I'm going to do this. So, you know, I'm like, I'm doing it, I'm signing up, I'm going to be a kidney donor. And so I like filled out all the paperwork.
I did the bloodwork and then they said, nope, you're not a match. And I was like, okay, you know, I'm like, well, this, you know, that's it. And they said, well, no, you can still sign up that, you know, if we find somebody else that you're a match for, then, you know, you know, and I'm like, oh, well, that's never going to happen.
Like it's just, you know, the chances of that yeah are insane. Guess what? You know, a few months later, I get a call and like they said, we have matched up a three way donation. So that means, like, basically A, B and C, I'll need kidneys and then A, B and C donors and a gives to b, b gives to c and c gives to a.
I was like yes, absolutely I will do it. So then I fly to New Orleans and I go to have the tests and I'm like, all right, we're doing this. And then they're like, nope, you can't donate because your blood pressure is too high. And I'm like, what? Yeah, because I, you know, I gained weight over Covid.
I drank too much, like we all did. and, so what happened is I was like, no, I am going to do this. And I can tell you that the best diet plan in the world is the one where, you know that five people are depending on you, and three of them will die if you don't lose enough weight to bring your blood pressure down.
So, I did it. I lost 25 pounds in those six months. Like up to it. My blood pressure right in range. Perfect. Ready to go. And then two weeks before I'm finding organs for donation, I got Covid and I was like, I am going to mess this up for everyone because I got Covid. Luckily those two weeks went by.
I was able to test negative hop on a plane, and it was able like, you know, to donate a kidney to somebody that I've never met. but the way that it works that I am Michael's donor, I'm listed as a donor for insurance purposes or any of those things. I am his official donor. Even though my kidney is walking around New Orleans in a stranger who I will never, ever meet.
And the timing of this story is really good because I can tell you the, the highlight of it and what made it worth it was Thanksgiving of last year. I assure you that I've never seen somebody more grateful than my friend Michael. Like the hugs from him. I mean, just overwhelming, you know, that's... I can't even measure that kind of gratitude that he had.
And to think that I was able to help him, like, really meant a lot. So thank you very much. Appreciate it.
Joel Dresang: That was Tim Farley. Tim told his story at a 2023. Ex Fabula EXperience with the theme “It's a match”, EXperiences are extra special storytelling events free for Ex Fabula members. You can learn more about them and membership at exfabula.org, and we've got an update from Tim. He let us know that he and Michael continue to do well, Tim says.
“I'm thankful that I was able to help Michael, and grateful that I get to tell the story”.
Kim Shine: Very nice. We have another one coming up for you, and this third story is from Tom Kertscher. Now, Tom talks about the fears involved in reaching out and connecting with a stranger. He shared this one at a 2023 slam with the theme of fear. Here's Tom.
Tom Kertscher: So, my- my fear has to do with whether approaching someone I had only met one time eight years ago would turn into an embarrassment or rejection or worse. So I used to be a... I used to be a reporter at the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. One of my coworkers was a guy named Don, and Don died suddenly eight years ago.
He was highly respected as a person, as a journalist. And Don and I weren't close, but I would say the final year or so of his life we did become friends, which I really valued a lot. That was eight years ago. As I say, when he passed away earlier this year, I had this little voice inside telling me I should remember Don in some way, and I was a little confused because I didn't know him well and he'd been gone for eight years.
But it kept tugging at me. So I called another former coworker from the Journal Sentinel and I said, hey, what do you think about us remembering Don? And he was closer to Don. We talked about it, decided grab a couple of lawn chairs one June afternoon, went to the cemetery and spent a couple of hours at Don's gravesite and we talked about Don, of course, reminisced, talked about journalism, talked about life.
Really nice afternoon. And while we were chatting, I realized that Don's son, Tim, is a groundskeeper for the Milwaukee Brewers at American Family Field. By coincidence, that very next day, after the cemetery, I was going to be at the stadium to cover the Brewers game. And so I thought maybe I should go seek out Tim, try to find him, and tell him about the afternoon we had spent at his dad's gravesite.
But was worried about how that would go since I met Tim one time eight years ago at his dad's visitation. Well, I get to the stadium the next afternoon and very early before the game, and I thought, well, that might be a good time to look for Tim, but for some reason I didn't, and I don't know why.
The game ended about 11:00. I'm tired. I'd been at the stadium for eight hours, and I'm just kind of trudging through the empty corridors of the stadium. You can see the exit door up ahead. And then there was this little voice again saying, you should turn left. And so I looked to my left, and it was where the groundskeepers would kind of hang out and it was empty.
Then a moment later, and I know this sounds a little Hollywood. This, figure appears in the near darkness, and I can't tell who it is, but instinctively I thought, that's Tim. So I called out. I startled him, and thankfully he responded nicely, and I introduced myself. We had this great 5 or 10 minute conversation. I told him about spending the afternoon at his dad's gravesite the day before.
I said, Tim, we used to have a thing called “WWDD” whenever we had dilemmas. You know what would Don do? And Don helped me out of the story. One of the hardest ones I ever had to do was to travel to Colorado many years ago and cover the Columbine school shooting, and Don helped me through that. So by the end of our conversation, Tim was just kind of glowing.
You know, he had was so appreciative that we'd spent time at his dad's gravesite. He loved hearing the stories about him, and I just felt so good about taking that risk of, this guy is going to think I'm crazy. Is he going to respond to me at all? But to take that risk, listen to that voice and say, you know, “what nicer thing could you do then tell a young man how great his dad was”?
Just a good example of listen to that little voice inside, even if you're a little afraid, give it a try. Thank you.
Kim Shine: That was Tom Kertscher. Some weeks after the StorySlam, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel published Tom's written story of his connection with Tim Walker. Tom says that they've bumped into each other a number of times since their initial meeting, and they're no longer strangers. Nice. Joel, should we do some ultras shorts?
Joel Dresang: Yes. I've got one here from anonymous. “After my wife and I realized we had spent the first night of our honeymoon in a stranger's home and not the cabin, we reserved.” Holy cow! “I drove home in a panic and forgot my wife.”
Kim Shine: Oh my...Talk about a scary movie. Okay, this one's from Late Bloomer. “I was very awkward and shy growing up. It was no surprise that I didn't have my first kiss until I was 16. What was a surprise was the fact that it was on a beach in Barcelona with a total stranger. Still, my best travel story.”
Joel Dresang: Here's an ultra short from Colleen. “Last weekend in the Atlanta airport, sitting at TGI Fridays after a very emotional weekend with complicated family. Silent tears streaming down my face. I feel so awkward. My waitress, her exterior so different than me. She drapes an arm around my shoulder and says, ‘whatever it is, it will be okay’ and gives me a squeeze.”
Joel Dresang: How beautiful is the kindness of a total stranger? Our final stranger story comes from Carrie Paraedes. Carrie’ story is about looking past the otherness of strangers. Her story comes from a 2022 StorySlam in collaboration with Independence First, a Milwaukee based resource for people with disabilities. Here's Carrie.
Carrie Paredes: I have a son and his name is Alejandro Antonio. But you know what? We just call him Tony, right? That's his Spanish name. That's his cool Spanish name. And, so he's on the autism spectrum, you know, and that was something we all had to learn. And when he was a little guy, when this was just a new part of our lives.
So, we speak English and Spanish at my house. Right. And so my kid speaks English and Spanish, but I like to say he's an Ombre de pocas palabras. Does anybody know what that means? A ombre de pocas palabras. You know what that means? He's a man of few words. He's got. He's got a lot to say. But, you know, he just kind of man a few words.
So, when he was little, I think he was, I don't know, like maybe four years old. And we were just kind of learning all this stuff. And sometimes, you know, there's different ways you communicate. You communicate with your voice, with your body, with your behaviors. You know, there's different ways. So we were we were going to like a McDonald's where they have all those playlands for little kids when they're four and three.
And this was kind of in a community that wasn't super diverse either. There weren't, you know, everybody kind of looked the same. And whatever. So we're just and he was so excited because we were getting some French fries, some Papas Fritas. And he loves French fries. And I don't know, there's some things he says in English, some things he prefers to say in Spanish.
So, he was doing really good. And all his school and therapies and everything people were asking him to do. So I said, you know what, let's go to the the little playland. We'll get some papas fritas. So we're waiting in the line. We're waiting in the line. He's a little guy. He's like this big right now. He was kind of like, maybe if you didn't know all these things about my kiddo, you might say that...
You might have thought, well, maybe he's being a little naughty. And why isn't this mama? You know, because sometimes people want us just to be quiet and stand in line. But sometimes that doesn't work for everybody, right? So he was doing everything I asked him to do. We're waiting in line. And there was an older- there was an older lady, could have been a grandma...
Right? And and she just- So we're in line. Here's me and Tony. We're waiting for a papas fritas. We're having a great day. We're all happy. And then I can hear. I don't think my son could really, like, pick up with it, but but, you know, sometimes people, they speak with their bodies. “humph..Humph..humph!” And, and this lady was just having a fit and I'm like, “what is going on?”.
I'm just gonna- I'm happy, I'm in a happy place. We're getting papas fritas. But then, then she started talking under her breath. You never know when people do that. And like “some people, some people, I wish they could just control their kids”. And, you know, so she was making all these snarky comments, all these kind of negative comments about me as a mama.
And I was like “mmhm”, And my kid was just like, “Papas fritas, I don't care, whatever”. So- but then she, I'm like okay, she's talking about me and I'm just. So then you have to make a decision. You know, she was an older lady. We're in McDonald's. We're getting French fries. I didn't want to fight with her.
Right? But it was making me feel bad. And I'm like, all right, well, just come on. Hurry up papas. Hurry French fries. Let's go. So then she started. Kind of like saying bad stuff about my boy. And I'm like, you know, you just can't do that, right? So. And, you know, and he was kind of, you know, doing some things, but he was fine.
And I said, I don't know. And then- so then- we just kind of ignored it and we're like, all right, let just, you know, peace be to you, lady, and have a good day. We're just doing our thing. So we get up to the thing to order the French fries and my kids all excited. So what does he say?
Do you think he says French fries or papas fritas? He says, papas fritas. So he's kind of like doing his thing. And. And then we get up. The thing is little four year old and he goes up and he's like, “papas fritas, please!”, you know? And I'm like, oh, you know. And that's a challenge, you know, communications, a challenge.
I was so proud of my boy I was having, like, what do you call this? Feel like the goosebumps right. And I was so happy. So proud. And then this crazy lady in back of me goes, “You know what? This is America, and you should speak English!” And I was like, oh, that is just the last- you know?
So, I was like, all right, but you make a choice. And then I had to speak up. Right. You know, and I said, you know what? Sometimes things are now that do you think I took her out? Do you think I punched this grandma lady? No, I didn't, I mean, she made me mad, but, you know, so, so I just kind of said.
I said, “you know what, ma’am? This is my son.” and I went, “would you like to meet him?” Then she’s like, “well, I don't know.” Yeah. And just lots of negative. Negative. So my little my little boy on the autism spectrum learning really, you know, change you know, struggling for each word. He sticks out his little hand at four years old- this is going to make me cry, all right.
But this was a moment we spoke up and I'm like, you know what? This is also a moment that I knew it was going to be okay, because it was scary for me as a mama. And so he takes out his little hand and he goes to her. What do you think he said? He says to her, I said, this is my son Tony.
And he goes, “mucho gusto, mucho-” No. He said, “papas fritas and mucho gusto”, Mucho gusto is Nice to meet you. And the lady wouldn't take his hand and I'm like, that's all right. I'm like, so I took her hand. I'm like, yeah, “nice to meet you. All right, you have a great day. We're going to go enjoy our French fries”, you know.
And then she just kept looking at us and I said, you know what? And then I didn't get on a whole big rant, but I said. I said, you know, it's not always easy for everybody. Not everybody has an ability or I don't know what I said. It was a long time ago. He's almost 18 now. So this is when he was four.
But anyway, sometimes you got to speak up because sometimes people do things and if they just maybe understood a little bit more, maybe that act a little bit differently, did this lady changed all that much? Not really. But you know what? We had papas fritas. Yeah. Thank you. All right. There you go.
Joel Dresang: That was Carrie Paredes, Ex Fabula’s work with Independence First is an example of how it strives to bring underrepresented perspectives to the stage and help more people advocate for themselves.
Kim Shine: We have some pretty great stories this episode, and this is only episode two. Goodness gracious. I don't know what the rest of this season's going to bring.
Joel Dresang: I'm looking forward to it.
Kim Shine: Right? But unfortunately right now, though, that's all the time we have for this episode of Real Stories MKE and there are more tales to share. Ex Fabula has been at this since 2009, has a lot of audio and video stories available at the website exfabula.org.
Joel Dresang: The Ex Fabula website lists upcoming storytelling workshops and StorySlams, so you can make plans to get some coaching and attend an event. Maybe you'll even share a story. You can connect with Ex Fabula on Facebook, Instagram and TikTok, and you can subscribe to Real Stories MKE wherever you get podcasts.
Kim Shine: Yep, and we would like to thank everybody who makes this possible, including sponsors of the Public Stories labs and workshops, which include Transfer Pizzeria and Cafe. Copyright Magazine and 89.7 WUWM...
Joel Dresang: Milwaukee’s NPR.
Kim Shine: And thanks as always to Ex fabula staff, the storytellers, our producer JJ Draper and audio engineer Sam Woods.
Joel Dresang: For Real Stories MKE, I'm Joel Dresang.
Kim Shine: And I'm Kim Shine. Tell those stories. Thanks for listening.
