Jane LaGolden sits at a high-top table in the corner of Open Flame restaurant in Hales Corners. She’s got a couple helpers with her who are checking people in for their senior happy hour. Each person gets a name tag, pitches in a few bucks to keep the group going and then moseys on over to the bar.
This 65+ happy hour group has been meeting for 10 years, once a month, through thick and thin — bad weather, loss of loved ones — and even showing up with broken bones. For some, this is the only time they get out of the house to socialize.
“I didn’t want to do a group where I had to read a book, knit a blanket, make something, I just wanted to meet people,” LaGolden says. “Thus the happy hour. And it certainly isn’t because we come here for the drinking or anything like that, it’s to meet the people.”
LaGolden estimates that a good night brings out 75-100 people, easily.
Today, the first Tuesday of February, the bar is overrun with ready-to-mingle, glam and dapper seniors within 30 minutes of the event starting. LaGolden says people start to show up at 3 p.m., a full hour before the event starts.
“All of my friends started to move [out of state] and one day I said to my daughter, ‘I think I'm going to start a meetup group,’” LaGolden recalls. “I went home, poured myself a glass of wine, sat down at the computer and I started this group. And it was basically I wanted to meet people, have friends, and be able to do things.”
Isolation and loneliness affects about one in three seniors. That number has declined since the COVID-19 pandemic, but is still higher than most demographics. This can affect seniors' depression, anxiety, mental health and physical health, like heart disease and cognitive decline.
Back at Open Flame, a number of seniors shared what it was that brought them to the group and why they keep coming back.
On what brought them out
Mike Shelby: "There’s such an eclectic group of people from all different backgrounds, but we’re all creaky."
Denise Salamone: "My friends are here…and this is where I made most of my friends. I moved into Milwaukee in 2016, from Oconomowoc, and I didn’t really have any friends here until I came to this group."
Vickie Fuerstenau: "It’s very difficult for people in their 70s to make new friends, even to meet new people is a challenge. And these people, almost every one of them is an acquaintance to me and a good many of them are good friends."
What is something the group has given to you?
Sue Kanzora: "People in this group really seem to enjoy being together. We’re more the same age than like the 55+ groups, those are our kids’ age! It’s a scary thought."
Mark Krowski: "For me it gave me hope because at that time, it was a dark time of my life, and I finally found people that I could share it with and move on in life, and still remember the past."
Jane LaGolden: "I feel like it’s given me my life. Feeling alive, not feeling alone and always feeling that I have somebody there whenever I want somebody. The other thing that feels really good to me is I feel really good helping people meet people. I’m feeling this is what I’m really meant to do — help people our age meet other people because it’s really hard."
What's your message to other seniors?
Denise Salamone: "Find a group. Go to church, go to Meetup, wherever, find a group. What happens when you’re aging if you don’t have a community is you age faster."
Sue Kanzora: "I know a lot of people at 80, I’m not gonna get better, I know that! It’s a hard place to be but when you have a group like this, it makes it so much easier."
Vickie Fuerstenau: "I feel bad for people who stay home. I could easily do that, I’ve had a lot of illness since I’ve retired. Our lives are shorter when we’re this age so why not gamble and walk in the door and pray that someone is gonna be nice to you, and they usually are, and you’ve got a whole new life."
