JoelDresang
Welcome to Real Stories MKE, brought to you as part of Ex Fabula's mission to connect Milwaukee through real stories.I 'm Joel Dresang.
Kim Shine
And I'm Kim Shine. Ex Fabula believes that everyone has personal stories worth sharing, and so they run workshops to help folks build their storytelling skills and their confidence. And they also hostStorySlams, where folks can get on stage, and of course, tell true stories. In this episode of Real Stories MKE, we are sharing four of those memorable stories.
Joel Dresang
Our theme this time is "Remembrance." Sometimes, when we lose someone special to us, we latch on to a keepsake or a custom or a quest, something that helps us honor that person's memory.
Joel Dresang
I was at a funeral just a couple of weeks ago and saw my nephew Mike there, and he had a nice suit on, and I commented about it, and he opened up the jacket and smiled at me, and there was a purple button inside that said, "Margie's Favorite."So, when my mom passed away, I told the story of how my mom had seven kids and 18 grandkids and all these relatives, and she would always say that she didn't have a favorite. But at the funeral, I told everybody that, in fact, everybody was my mom's favorite.So,I made those little buttons and passed them out. And so, that was in 2016, and my nephew is still wearing that pin.
Kim Shine
Yeah.
Joel Dresang
And I found that that was a pretty cool remembrance.
Kim Shine
I love that, because you never know when someone's gonna pass on, obviously, but there is always somethingI feel that reminds you of them. So, it's nice when you actually have a tangible thing.Yeah, you know, a memory is always great. But if you can look at a pin or look at a scarf or something like that, it just brings, brings you closer.
Joel Dresang
And in this case, it was a shared experience, because all he had to do was show that to me—
Kim Shine
Exactly, yeah, and that'sreally awesome.
Joel Dresang
Our first remembrance story comes from Maia Lindvall. Maia spoke at an Ex Fabula Teen Story Slam in May 2025. For Maia, the remembrance of her father and other loved ones turned into a quest. Here's Maia.
Maia Lindvall
Dr. Theodore Woodward once said, "If you hear hooves, look for the horses, because you'll never expect to find a zebra." This is a picture of my dad. Unfortunately, when I was nine years old, he passed away due to a rare disease called bile duct cancer.That was really hard for me. I was a child at the time, losing a parent, but it was even harder because I didn't understand the disease that he passed from or what I could do personally about it. I remember the feeling of guilt of not spending enough time with my father while he was alive, but more than anything, I wanted to do something to change what had happened to him. I remember asking my mom if there was a walk or something we could do in honor of him, but there was nothing we could find for his specific disease.
Maia Lindvall
Later, when I turned 13, my baton coach, who had been a mentor to me, since the age of five years old, had passed away due to complications of a disease called myasthenia gravis, which is also a rare disease. When I turned 15, someone very close to me personally became a survivor of another rare disease called anal cancer. I realized that rare diseases had become very prevalent in my life, and I wanted to do something to change that, because I realized that it was taking over my life personally.
Maia Lindvall
When I became a freshman in high school, I decided to join the Miss America Opportunity. In doing so, every girl is given the opportunity to pick a community service initiative which is something that she's passionate about and wants to make a change in her community. I knew immediately that I wanted to do something to honor my dad, so I began researching facts about rare disease—anything I could—and I started an Instagram page. I called it Project Zebra. That's the name of my community service initiative.And I post facts on there about rare diseases so people can become more informed.
Maia Lindvall
But I didn't just want to end here. I wanted to raise funds for rare diseases. I made bracelets, one I'm wearing right now, and I've brought today to donate funds to the National Organization of Rare Diseases. I wrote a children's book that I'm currently in the works of publishing so that children can become more informed about what they can do at that age to help people with rare diseases. And currently at my high school, I'm starting a toy drive so that I can donate those toys to people in the rare disease wing at Children's Hospital, because going through treatments at that age is very scary, especially when you don't understand that disease.
Maia Lindvall
I want to go back to that quote I mentioned earlier. If you hear hooves, look for the horses, because you will never expect to find a zebra. Those are representative of the rare diseases in the world that are left undiagnosed or misdiagnosed for many years. I brought my crown today because it's given me an opportunity to speak about my dad and reach a larger audience, so I can inform people about rare diseases and what they can do to solve the problems of it. Rare diseases are not as rare as you might think they are.
Maia Lindvall
I'm here, not today, because it's just my story, but so many others and I want to be a voice for myself, but as well as the many other people who have been affected by rare disease in their lifetime, thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my story, as well as so many others.
Joel Dresang
That was Maya Lindvall.
Kim Shine
You know, I was going to say earlier in the episode, but I wanted to just hold it.
Joel Dresang
Yeah?
Kim Shine
I have a couple of friends who lost their moms this year, I think over the summer or into the fall, and there's been a lot of remembrance happening this year. It was, it's, it's been heavy, but it's also been kind of freeing. I think one of my friends you know, said that the passing of their mom, though heavy, it was also like, I'm happy that she's okay, you know, happy that she's all right, and then we can just, just, just be.
JoelDresang
Right.
Kim Shine
So, I don't know, it's just been a time.
Joel Dresang
Right. And it's, and it's interesting that we have these keepsakes and these, these memories and these customs, yeah, that we hold on to. And yet, as you said, it's, it's freeing.
Kim Shine
Well, usually Ex Fabula's Story Slams invite people to share their true stories without notes and without props. But the Teen Slam in May 2025 had the theme Show and Tell, which sort of begs the use of props. Now the prop shared by our next storyteller was his keepsake of a brief friendship that made a lasting impression. Here's Thomas Fountain.
Thomas Fountain
This story is about my, um, one of these friends I had met, but—let me just get to this point.
Thomas Fountain
I remember it was back in 2020, mid, probably, you could say June. Had got off, and I went to go see a friend, and his cousin was there, and we became good friends over the summer. And I can say one time he had came over, he had done something he wasn't really supposed to, and his auntie had told him to go back home.
Thomas Fountain
I haven't heard from him in a minute, but what I did hear is that a kid was hit off his bike on Fond du Lac due to two cars racing, and I found out that that was, that was him. I was really woke up on my sleep and told this. So, when I got up, I got some more news that he was, like, on life support, and he died. They were, he, they got him back up. And then I said, a couple hours later, he died.
Thomas Fountain
And that's why I keep this picture of him, so anytime I think of him, I could just look at the necklace. That's it.
Kim Shine
That was Thomas Fountain. And Thomas shared this story at the Teen Show and Tell Story Slam in 2025.
JoelDresang
And you could hear in his voice how emotional, how difficult that was, and yet how brave Thomas was to share that.
Kim Shine
Yeah, I think anytime you share something so close to your heart—
Kim Shine
—it helps you just release a little bit, andI think it shows you the bravery that comes with acceptance, right? You know. So, kudos to Thomas. Now, Ex Fabula does provide compensation for teens who take on leadership roles at the TeenStorySlams, as well as the teaching artists who lead the workshop.So,thank you to the funders of the Youth Affinity Storytelling project, including the Milwaukee Recreation Partnership for the Arts and Humanities, the Greater Milwaukee Foundation's Marvin Whaesle Fund for the Arts, and Ex Fabula members.
JoelDresang
Yes.
JoelDresang
You know Kim, occasionally we encounter extraordinary signs that remind us of someone we've lost. That's the case of our next remembrance story, which comes from Ken Murack. He shared this story at a 2023 Ex Fabula Story Slam with the theme, "Awkward." Here's Ken.
Ken Murack
Hello. I titled my story 10-99. The story takes place at the Deuster's Bowling Lanes, which runs 63rd and Fond du Lac. And it's a 12-lane house. And I was showing up there that night, a Friday night for my Friday night bowling league, five people, and I knew that we were bowling on lanes 11 and 12. Andthat'sall they had in the house, again, a small, small bowling establishment.
Ken Murack
So, I went to those lanes to begin changing in my bowling shoes so I could bowl. And I recognized on the floor there were carpet remnants. And at the Deuster's Bowling Lanes, it was not uncommon for people to spill drinks, and they would use those carpet remnants to keep you from stepping in a wet drink with your bowling shoes, which is not a good thing if you're a bowler. So, I didn't pay much attention to it, at which point I sat down and one of my bowling team members called over to me and said, "Hey, Kenny, be careful over there. Booby went10-99 there this afternoon."
Ken Murack
And I said, "He went, 10-99? That's crazy."
Ken Murack
And he goes, "Yeah, so be careful."
Ken Murack
Well, our team consisted of four Milwaukee firefighters and one garbage disposal truck driver, Dean Miller. So, on the Milwaukee Fire Department, back in those days, 10 codes were used to shorten your transmissions on the radio and 10-4 meant, "message received." 10-7 meant that you were not available. 10-8, so you kind of get that. 10-99 meant that you were on scene with a deceased person. Obviously not a good thing, but that was the deal. So, we always said 10-99 if we knew somebody had passed.
Ken Murack
So, Booby—and,Milwaukee Fire Department isn't that great with their nicknames. His name was Wayne Bublitz. He actually had a heart attack and died there that afternoon because he bowled in the previous nights, he rolled in the afternoon league. And I said, "Well, rest in peace, Booby."
Ken Murack
So, we start bowling. We're doing our shadow balls. I apologize, but that's what I said. "Rest in peace." And so, we start our shadow balls. Well, one of my teammates said tome, he says, "Hey, Booby, had the first seven."
Ken Murack
I said, "You're kidding me." Well, the first seven strikes, seven strikes in a row, means you're seven of 12 to get to a perfect game. You need 12 strikes, you get a perfect game, a 300. I said, "Well, did Booby ever have a 300?" And he said no. I said, "Whoa, that was little too much for him, because he checked out. I mean, he went down, had a heart attack."
Ken Murack
So, okay, so we start bowling. We start our first game. The kid I'm lined up against isn't that good of a bowler. He starts with the first five in a row. I'm like, what's going on? Kid gets the sixth one in a row. I says, "Hey, you know what? Booby's in this kid. He's going to get his 300 through this kid, and he'll be able to go to heaven, happy." So, the kid gets up to throw his seventh ball. Cuts a big, cuts a big split. I'm like, "Booby. What happened? Where did you go, man? What did you take off for?"
Ken Murack
And all my team mates starts hushing me. They said, "Hey, shut up. Booby's family is here getting his stuff. They're in the coatroom right now, picking up his belongings after he went 10-99."
Ken Murack
So, I go, "Ope, there they are." I said, "Well, that explains it. He left this kid because he wants to go and see his family for the last time before you go wherever you go after you're 10-99." So, okay, so we finished the first game. We finished the second game, and we begin the third game. The third game, Dean Miller, who's our anchor bowler, the only non-firefighter on the team, he starts off with the first six in a row. I said, "Booby's back. Booby is in Dean, and he's going to get his 300 through Dean. Yeah!"
Ken Murack
So, Dean gets up in the lanes for a seven shot, and bam, laces this thing, 10 in the pit, eighth ball. Boom, 10 in the pit. Nine, another perfect strike. So, nowhe'son the approach, and for the for the 10th frame, and those of you non-bowlers the 10th frame, you need to throw three strikes to get the 300game, which is a perfect game.
Ken Murack
So, he's on the approach, and this is a 12-lane house. It's not uncommon for everybody to stop and watch. Plus, they were listening to this idiot talking about this guy who's in a live person trying to get his 300game. So, everybody's—not a peep in the place. He throws the first 10 ball, bang, strike, 10in a pit. 11, same way. Bang, 10 in a pit. Now he's on the approach for the 12th ball. The place is dead, dead quiet. Everybody's watching Dean, and he throws the 12th ball, boom, bang, 10 in the pit. 300. Perfect game.
Ken Murack
The place just erupts. Everybody's high fiving. Everybody's slapping Dean on the back. I'm going "Booby! Way to go! You got your 300, man! Way to go! Beautiful. Good job."
Ken Murack
At this point, my teammates go, "Kenny. Kenny."
Ken Murack
I said, "What, what, what?"
Ken Murack
"Look at our score."So,I look up at the score sheet, the overhead score marker, and there, at the bottom of the tally was the total of our five members of our bowling team: 1099.
Joel Dresang
That was Ken Murack. Ken referred to the 10 codes used by police and firefighters and truckers and others to abbreviate communications like 10-4 means yes. It turns out that the codes can vary by jurisdiction. In this case, 10-99 is associated with a deceased person. It's also an IRS tax form, but I don't think that relates to the story.
Joel Dresang
Kim, do you want to do someUltraShorts?
Kim Shine
I would love to do someUltraShorts.
Joel Dresang
So, Ultra Shorts are just what, how they sound, they're little stories that people write on a slip of paper, and at the Story Slams, the host will read them on stage. It gets more voices into theStorySlams, and it varies the pace.
Joel Dresang
All right, I have one.
Joel Dresang
Okay.
Kim Shine
This is from Beth. Beth says, "Many people see their loved ones who have died in a rainbow or a blue jay. But I'm luckier. My dad—cigar-smoking, junkyard-owning, scotch-drinking dad—shows he's still with us by providing really good parking spots when we request them."
Joel Dresang
Nice. My family sees my dad in cardinals. So, I'm not sure where that came from. You know, yeah, when you see a cardinal. So, here's an Ultra Short from Anonymous: "My mom unexpectedly died in 2018. I was with her as she passed. She was wearing this necklace that day. After she passed, I asked the nurses if I could have it. I haven't taken it off since. I turned 21 a few weeks after my mom died, and I vowed then that I would carry her legacy with me. And I do. I think of her every time I touch the necklace and try to represent the best of her."
Kim Shine
Nice. This here is from TK, who says: "My father passed away four years ago. After that day, my mom kept telling me stories of how he was sending her messages. I was daddy's little girl, so I thought I would receive some sort of sign, but nothing. And finally, after three years, I was on the train and a man across from me was an exact look-alike of my dad. I started crying on public transportation. My dad finally came to me. He'll always be in my heart."
Kim Shine
Well, Joel, sometimes we think we know someone and then someone else's remembrance of them alters how we see them, and that's what happened to Lucrezia Phifer. Now, Lucrezia grew up knowing her grandmother, but didn't really know about her until after she died. Here's Lucrezia.
Lucrezia Phifer
All right, I just put my name in the hat, and this is my first time being atone of these. As you said, my name is Lulu Phifer, and I am 22 years old, but I was three years old when my maternal grandfather passed away, and it wasn't very long after that that my grandmother then started developing dementia, and that was how I knew her my whole life.
Lucrezia Phifer
I knew how much my mom loved her, and I grew up with many stories of how, what a wonderful mother she was, but all I knew her as was a very sweet but very... but she wasn't with it. And it got worse and worse the longer that she lived and she became a burden to my family, to the point where, you know, by the time she passed away in 2016 when I was—or, 20, early 2017—when I was 16 years old, I mostly felt a sense of relief. I was happy that she had found peace and that my family would now be able to move on with their grief, which had been suspended for so long as her, as she gave way into dementia and ultimately intoAlzheimer's.
Lucrezia Phifer
And that February was at like, the height of the busiest time of my junior year of high school, and the last thing that I wanted to do that weekend was hike it up to rural Minnesota for a funeral, which I had never been to before. But that is whatI and my familydid for my grandmother's funeral. And that is where I discovered my grandmother's legacy.
Lucrezia Phifer
I was pretty uncomfortable that whole weekend, filled with, surrounded by a lot of family that I didn't know, who I didn't feel comfortable around, who I didn't agree with on a lot of things, but I remember feeling a sense of like, displacement, as well, as if I was, like, putting on a show of mourning this person that I didn't really know. I knew I'd spent a lot of time with her, but I didn't really know who she was. She was never able to tell me stories. I knew that she was a good mom, and I knew that my mom loved her, but I didn't, I didn't feel sad because I didn't know who she was.
Lucrezia Phifer
But I was asked to say a reading at my grandmother's funeral by the rest of the family. And so, in order to prepare for this, I decided to read the obituary that my mom and her sisters had written for her, because I just didn't feel like I could, in good conscience, go up there and represent my family when I felt like I didn't really know this woman.
Lucrezia Phifer
And when I read her obituary, it just, it totally changed my life and the way that I perceived my lineage, because I discovered this story of this amazing, powerful woman who was born in the Midwest, in rural Minnesota, who used her education as a secretary to move away and move to California and get herself a job and make herself money. She shocked all her family by moving away, but she was also she was truly humble and truly like a servant to others. She joined a service called the Lay Mission Helpers inTanganyika, which is now Tanzania, and that's where she met my grandfather, and she lived a life that was so beautiful and so true to herself. My mom fondly remembers her driving this gorgeous like, lime green Corvette, and yet she also would, you know, spend so much time on service missions and that, that totally inspired me.
Lucrezia Phifer
And I,I suddenly felt so connected to this person who I had never, ever really known while she was alive.And while that was really sad, because I felt like I had missed out on this, on knowing this gorgeous person who indirectly gave me life.I, in death, it was like I was I was open to this, this life that was, that she had lived and that she had given for others. And when I, when I went up that day to do the love is patient, love is kind reading—I'm sure any Catholics in the room know—I just, I burst into tears because I realized that I loved this person who, a day before, I was like, I don't really know her. And her legacy lives through me every day. It's, you know, from her inspiration that I'm now a member of the Jesuit Volunteer Corps, and that's why I'm here in Milwaukee, and it's through her inspiration that I was inspired to get out of my small Midwestern town. I'm from South Bend, Indiana, and—yay!
Lucrezia Phifer
And, and so, that is the legacy of Charlotte De Pasquale and you are looking at her right now, and I'm so proud to say that, though I never really knew that woman because of the horrible disease of Alzheimer's in her life, her legacy lives on, and I'm so glad I got to share it with you all today. Thank you.
Kim Shine
That was Lucrezia Phifer, and she shared this story at an Ex Fabula StorySlam in 2022 with the theme, "Legacy and Heirlooms."
Kim Shine
And we do have an update! Now, she says that she shared the story when she was in Milwaukee for a year of service with the Jesuit Volunteer Corps. Now, we sent her a replay of the story, and she said, "It was so nice to listen to that and reflect on the person I was. I now live in London, where I just graduated with my MFA in acting, and I still try to live Charlotte's legacy every day."
Kim Shine
Should we do some more UltraShorts?
Joel Dresang
Sure. Do you have one?
Kim Shine
Yeah, I have one from Anonymous: "In May of 2016 my uncle passed away. He passed away fromALS but made the most of his time from when he was diagnosed. He took a trip with family to Jamaica because it was his favorite vacation spot. And after his passing, our family took his ashes back to Jamaica and spread them in the ocean at sunset. Afterward, everybody jumped in and took one last swim with him."
Joel Dresang
Nice.
Kim Shine
It's very sweet.
Joel Dresang
Yeah. Here's another Ultra Short from Anonymous: "Sadly and tragically, Bob died this past Christmas. His struggles with demons and drugs caused us to be estranged. Bob loved nature, especially birds of prey. Five days after he died, a great horned owl was in our driveway. I believe he will be happier as an owl."
Kim Shine
This one's from JJ: "My grandmother passed away, and my partner left our one-year-old in the living room for a moment a few days afterward, and our child started laughing really loudly, as if someone was tickling him. My family believes it was my grandma who loved him, and me, dearly."
JoelDresang
Nice. Here's an Ultra Short from No Name—I like that better than anonymous actually.
Kim Shine
I do, too.
Joel Dresang
Yeah. "Art was the name of a vagrant on State Street"—oh, I know this story—"in Madison in the late 1970s. He would wash windows for State Street merchants and use the proceeds to buy drinks for himself and bellow out at passing college students. An enterprising student put Art's likeness on a t shirt under the timeless title, 'What is Art?' The shirt was very popular, though I doubt Art ever got a penny from it. When Art died, students gave him a New Orleans-style funeral procession on State Street. The merchants came out to salute him." And I do remember, I was a student in Madison during those days, and I think I actually covered that that funeral. It was very touching.Yeah, it was very nice.
JoelDresang
Well, Kim, that's all the time we have for this episode of Real Stories MKE, but you listeners out there, don't fret, because there are plenty of stories on exfabula.org/radio, go there, because Ex Fabula has been collecting these stories since 2009.
Kim Shine
There are a lot more.
Joel Dresang
There are, yes.
Kim Shine
TheEx Fabula website lists upcoming storytelling workshops andStorySlams, and if we are lucky, we will see you at an event very soon, and maybe you'll even share one of your stories or write an Ultra Short for the hosts. You can connect with Ex Fabula on Facebook and Instagram and follow Real Stories MKE wherever you get your podcasts.
Joel Dresang
Thanks to everyone who makes this program possible, including Ex Fabula's staff, the storytellers, of course, producer Jasmine Gonzalez and audio engineer Sam Woods.
Kim Shine
For RealStoriesMKE,I'mKim Shine.
JoelDresang
And I'm Joel Dresang. Remember, everybody has stories worth sharing. Think of telling yours.
