Sometimes, we bottle things up, and it can get unhealthy for us. Often, it's better to just let it out. This episode of Real Stories MKE features stories from Erin Johnston, Elizabeth Brown, Amy Ali, and Laura Martin. Real Stories MKE is hosted by Kim Shine and Joel Dresang with support from producer Jasmine Gonzalez and audio engineer Sam Woods.
Episode transcript below from Ex Fabula's Real Stories MKE series.
Joel Dresang
Welcome to Real Stories MKE brought to you as part of Ex Fabula's mission to connect Milwaukee through real stories. I'm Joel Dresang.
Kim Shine
And I'm Kim Shine. Ex Fabula believes that everyone has personal stories worth sharing. They run workshops to help folks build their storytelling skills. They also hold slams where folks can tell their true stories on stage. Now, in this episode of Real Stories MKE, we are sharing four of those irrepressible stories.
Joel Dresang
Our theme this episode is "Better Out." Sometimes we keep things to ourselves, they become bottled up over time, and it can get unhealthy for us. It may be a feeling or a family secret or a fear that revealing what we're holding in would embarrass ourselves or cause a scene, but a lot of times, it's just better to let it out.
Kim Shine
Yeah, let it go.
Joel Dresang
Yeah. You know, I was thinking about this, and I, over my life, have had romantic crushes on a couple of people, and whether I was shy or afraid of rejection—
Kim Shine
Yeah.
Joel Dresang
I just kept it in. I kept it to myself, and I struggled with that. But when I met my wife, and I got to know her, and I got to know how I felt about her—
Kim Shine
Yeah.
Joel Dresang
I made sure I let her know about it, and it was better out.
Kim Shine
I feel like that's how you know that that's the person, or that's the opportunity, because you're willing to say, I'm nervous, but that doesn't matter.
Joel Dresang
Yes.
Kim Shine
And you just go for it.
Joel Dresang
And the rest, as they say, is her-story. Well, our first better out story comes from Erin Johnston. Erin shares her experience with a certain natural urge that she has struggled to repress because of how she was raised. She shared her story at an Ex Fabula StorySlam in October 2025. Here's Erin.
Erin Johnston
I am deathly afraid of farting in front of strangers, but to be quite honest, I'm also very afraid of farting in front of people that I know, and I think this goes back to when I was a child. I lived in a house where you weren't allowed to fart. It was a no fart zone. So, there were rules. If you had to fart, you had to leave the room. First, you had to say, excuse me, and then you had to go to another room, either your room or the bathroom, and you had to light a match to cover the smell, if there was a smell, and you had to probably sing if there was going to be some noise. And then when you came back, everybody in the family made fun of you. So, to this day, I don't like farting around anyone. And just in case you are wondering, I'm okay right now.
Erin Johnston
But I wasn't okay many years ago, when I was working in a theater in Nebraska, Western Nebraska, it was an all cowboy town, and I was on the High Plains Arts Council, and I had never heard a cowboy poet, and so it was my job to find one, and to hire him and to bring him to town. And the night that he was performing, I had to introduce him to the town by walking through the big, huge high school velvet curtains. And just as I opened up those curtains, I felt a gas bubble in my stomach that I knew was not going to be silent, but deadly. It was going to cause a thunderous explosion. And everyone in that theater, all 600 of them, would hear me. And they were dressed up to the tees. They had their fanciest blue jeans on. They had their ironed shirts, their bolo ties, their hats, they had taken off and put in the coat check. And I was like, uh oh, this is not going to happen. And I thought, maybe I could get away with it. Maybe I could just go and introduce him. All this is happening a million miles in my head.
Erin Johnston
And that's when I realized there was the microphone for his voice, but there was a microphone down here for his guitar playing. So, I shut the curtains and ran all the way to the farthest corner off the stage at the back, back, back corner. And I went to open up the doors at the loading dock and go outside and do my business. But the cowboy poet was staring at me, and the High Plains Arts Council president was staring at me, and they were staring at each other, and he was like, and she was like, and I was like—Oh my God, if I go outside and do this, the doors are going to lock and I'm not going to be able to come back in. And that's a whole 'nother level of embarrassment when you're supposed to introduce somebody.
Erin Johnston
So, the High Plains Arts Council lady starts walking. Walking towards me, and meanwhile, I'm just like, you know, squinching in as much as I possibly can. And she gets closer and closer and closer. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, go away. Go away. Go away. And she's like, and I'm like, just, just go away. So, this is what I think happened. I was so, I was so afraid of farting in front of the cowboy, and so afraid of farting in front of her that that gas bubble just went straight back up inside. It did not come out as a burp, though, don't worry about that. And I just thought, okay, I can breathe.
Erin Johnston
And I went outside, and I introduced him, and it was an amazing show. I mean, he sang, he read poetry, he told stories that I have never heard before and will never hear again. And then about three quarters of the way into the show, one of his specialties was yodeling, and he did a yodel that was all fart sounds. He used his mouth, he used a microphone, he used his feet, he used his guitar, he used his harmonica, and he was brilliant, and I was laughing hysterically off to the side, and the audience was rolling in their seats. I think some people had to get up and go to the bathroom. And then the lady, the Arts Council, she was laughing.
Erin Johnston
So, the show's done, and we all go to sit and have coffee with each other. Yes, even in western Nebraska, there are one or two places that stay open past nine o'clock at night. And there we were, and everybody's laughing, and I'm asking stories to tell, and what's going on, and this and that, and then there's a little bit of silence, and the Arts Council President looks at me, and she goes, "So Erin, why did you open the curtain and then close them and then run?" She goes, "I know you don't have stage fright. We've seen you on stage a gazillion times." And so, I had to think about it for a second, and I decided to confess to my fear of farting in front of strangers. And I was now doing it in front of a bunch of strangers, including the cowboy poet. And he just started laughing. They all started laughing. And he was laughing so hard, when he finally stopped, he said, "You know what? You should have just let it rip. You should have done that one for your family. You should have let those people talk about you." Thank you. [applause]
Joel Dresang
That was Erin Johnston, who shared her story at a StorySlam at Next Act Theater. And we've got an update from Erin. Erin says, "A big thank you to Ex Fabula for creating a safe place to share stories and to celebrate storytelling."
Kim Shine
That's what this is all about. And our next story comes from Elizabeth Brown at a 2018 StorySlam. It's the theme of generations. Elizabeth told a story about surviving child abuse and how holding it inside as a secret just serves to perpetuate the cycle. Now please note that her story does include mentions of sexual abuse that may be distressing, so take care of yourself. Here's Elizabeth.
Elizabeth Brown
Good evening. You guys look good tonight. So, um, yeah, I'm cute, and that's generational. I have five minutes. I am a fifth-generation survivor of child molestation. No laughing about that, no. But I need you to understand that the realness, the silence, is the sickness, and that's generational. I want you to know that I died at seven. When I was violated, I died that day.
Elizabeth Brown
Being 41 years old right now, I'm understanding that I was a grown woman in body, but in mind, I was my seven-year-old self. Hurt people hurt people, and I'm guilty of being physically violent with men that I was in a relationship with because hurt people hurt people, and I didn't handle what it was that I needed to handle when it was handled because I learned from my mother, who learned from her mother, who was taught by her mother not to deal, to deal with it. And so, in my silence, I didn't hold my violator accountable. So how could he know that he was wrong? How could the same person that molested me, that molested my sister, that was my cousin, that was my mother's oldest sister's son, violate me inside of, inside the house that I called a home? Because the silence is the sickness. How could I cry and never hear my own voice? Because the silence was the sickness, and in generations, it continued to go.
Elizabeth Brown
To break the cycle, we have to break the silence. I'm here a fifth-generation survivor. Speaking for my daughter, because she, too, was violated at the age of nine. I tried to prepare her for the boogie monster, which was a man violator, and she was ready to defend herself by any means necessary for a man, but she was approached by a woman, a girl cousin. I was also told at seven years old that my mother was molested by her brother, but at seven years old, what was molest? Until my cousin asked me to take a basket of clothes in the basement and he'll give me a sneaker. And with that sneaker, I didn't know that the cost was my innocence. That day, I lost my innocence. Today, I stand here not because of anything other than, I am not my tragedy. I am my triumph. [applause]
Elizabeth Brown
I stand here as a voice for the voiceless, and I tell you to speak now. Never hold your peace. Today, we stand together in understanding that hurt people hurt people, and to be forgiven, you have to forgive. So, I have forgiven my violator because he hurt me because someone hurt him, and then I hurt somebody else because he hurt me. And all in all, we are human beings, and he who has never sinned, please be the first to cast a stone. Thank you. [applause]
Kim Shine
That was Elizabeth Brown, and it's difficult to listen to stories like that, but that's her point, and we're grateful that she found a forum through Ex Fabula to bravely share her message. And if you need support, we encourage you to call the National Sexual Assault Hotline operated by the Rape Abuse and Incest National Network. Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE. That's 1-800-656-4673.
Joel Dresang
The hotline offers free, confidential, 24/7 support, crisis intervention and referrals for survivors of sexual violence in English and Spanish, connecting callers to local centers for help. The hotline can also be accessed via online chat at R A I N N, and text messages.
Joel Dresang
Kim, sometimes when we speak up, instead of repressing our emotions, we make connections. That's what our next storyteller, Amy Ali, found out as the result of an encounter she had at Summerfest. Amy shared her story at an Ex Fabula StorySlam in November 2019. Here's Amy Ali.
Amy Ali
So, I actually came out here tonight because my dad passed about a year ago last week. And so, I'm, you know, for those in the room who have experienced those things, I'm in the process of still grieving and processing and taking it in. And I thought, you know, I'd like to hear other people's stories of goodbyes and just how they perceive what a, what a goodbye is, whether it's a bra or, you know, a family member. But I was thinking, I had a couple good goodbyes this summer, and I want to share my favorite summer story, maybe favorite, not for the best reasons, but Summerfest.
Amy Ali
I'm a Riverwester. I bike to Summerfest because I don't want to pay for parking or look for it. So, one night at Summerfest, I'm biking home, you know, get verbally assaulted on my bike on the way home, typically happens. But then the next night, I had a VI— I had the hookup for a VIP front row pass at my boyfriend's favorite, like, it was his high school favorite band. I had no idea who they were, but we were in the VIP front row section, and it had free beers and all this other great stuff. So, I was like, okay, cool, we're here.
Amy Ali
So, we have free beers. Did I mention that? So, I go out to get my next beer, and I started to come back. And, you know, nobody wants to be that person who is trying to get through the crowd and saying, "Excuse me, I'm just trying to get back to my friends. I just got a beer." Well, that was me, but I was not obnoxious and pushy and so forth. So, I was making my way, and at one point I just got stopped. I just got absolutely stopped. And I tried to repeat myself so Midwestern-politely: "Excuse me, I'm just trying to get back to my friends. I just got a beer."
Amy Ali
And there were these guys, that was kind of walled off by this block of guys. And eventually one of them, I repeated myself again. He kind of, he kind of moved his shoulder back and let me in, and then, as though I was paying a toll or it was a rite of passage, he decided to place his hand on my a** and squeeze it nice and firmly twice. So, me being me and penting up my energy from my bike ride the night before, I turned around, and I absolutely lost my s**t in his face in a way that I have never done before. [cheers] And—thank you to that. However, I will not repeat those words. I don't think I'm hearing much swearing tonight.
Amy Ali
Anyhow, so the real empowering part of this was, I was in the process of, you know, not thinking rationally, losing my s**t in front of this guy in his face for what he just did. And then a group of about five women behind me started to chime in, and they started to call him out, and they said, "Did you just touch her? Did you just this? Did you just that?" And they were louder than I was, which, again, I didn't think was possible. So goodbye to being a bystander. Goodbye to seeing s**t happen and not calling people out. These women, who I did not know, stood up for me. They didn't see it happen, but they were there. They saw my reaction, and they spoke up. So goodbye to just standing and watching things happen. [applause]
Amy Ali
So, then it gets better. So, then I break down in tears, because, you know, emotions and all that. And suddenly I'm in tears, and they're chewing this guy out and chasing him out. And I was like, oh my god, what is happening? And then I was like, in tears, and I was like, "Well, I just want to make sure he's leaving." So, I start to follow him, in my irrational state, in tears, and they saw me start to follow him. And who cares about this concert? It wasn't my idea. I just got the tickets. So, we're going, we're going back out. And these girls see me, and they say, "Do you want us to come with you?" And I said, "Yes." And then they started to come with me. It's a roped off area. It's a VIP section.
Amy Ali
Suddenly, security is there at the gate, and they say, they see me in tears. And I say, "This guy, he just left. I just want to make sure he left." Microphoned over. Security came over. Immediately, security was there. Security says, "What happened?" I'm in tears. I describe this guy. In the meantime, I have my witnesses behind me. The guy decides to go to the bathroom before he actually leaves the entire Summerfest grounds. You can be anonymous at Summerfest if you want to be, but he was slow. So, so, security gets the guy. Police get involved. Wow, I just wanted to yell at him, and suddenly the police are involved. They say, "Do you want to press charges?"
Amy Ali
And I'm in tears. And I say, "Yes." I stand up and I believe in for what's doing the right thing.
Amy Ali
So, they say, "Well, you can't come in tomorrow because it's a holiday."
Amy Ali
And I was like, "Okay, well, how about the next day?" Okay, but I can't come in in the morning, so we get around to 2:30 in the afternoon. I go into the DA's office here in Milwaukee, two days later, and to my surprise, they say he's still in custody. Goodbye to thinking you can get away with it. Goodbye for saying, "Oh, I was just escorting her through the crowd with my hand on her lower back." And again, goodbye for bystanders. Thank you to those women. I don't know if you're out here, you made a huge difference and really just empowered me in a moment that was vulnerable and that was scary, but a lot of other people face, so goodbye to all that. [applause]
Joel Dresang
That was Amy Ali. She told her story at a StorySlam with the theme, "Goodbyes." Hey, Kim, how about some UltraShorts?
Kim Shine
I would love to do some UltraShorts.
Joel Dresang
Tell us what they are!
Kim Shine
So, if you come to a show and you don't get a chance to get on stage, or you just don't know if you want to do that, yet, you can fill out a little piece of paper with maybe a thirty-second story, and the host will read it on stage.
Joel Dresang
And I've got one right here. It's from Kathleen: "The bar At Random, with a boyfriend for V Day. Spoke of family, and he basically stated his mother was not important. I broke up with him a second later and left."
Kim Shine
She got out.
Joel Dresang
Yes.
Kim Shine
This one here is from Anonymous: "After years of being in a toxic marriage, I had become a version of myself I did not like. I was incredibly unhappy, and ultimately left the situation. I became suicidal and thought it would never get better. Two years later, I'm incredibly happy. I underestimated myself. I'm happier now than I ever knew possible."
Joel Dresang
Another case of better out.
Kim Shine
Yeah, love that for you, kudos.
Joel Dresang
Yes.
Kim Shine
But we've got one more story in this episode, and it comes from Laura Martin. Now Laura shares the lessons that she is learning about mental illness and how it's something inside her but outside of her control. Here's Laura.
Laura Martin
So, I can remember the day as if it was yesterday. It was a beautifully bright fall day, kind of like today, was warm. The sun was shining, the wind was blowing just a little, enough to get that smell of fallen leaves in the air. I loved that smell. I was sitting outside on my front porch holding my month-old baby boy. He was in a little romper with little pumpkins on it, looking all cute. He was born with a full head of hair, so his hair was blowing in the wind, and it was a serene moment. Yet I was crying.
Laura Martin
The truth is, I'd been crying a lot. I had suffered from mental illness for decades, but I always looked at it as a character defect, something that was wrong with me, not wrong in me. A few minutes later, my loving husband came out looking dapper in his mix match plaid outfit. He asked why I was crying. I said, I didn't know. He asked what he had done wrong. I said, nothing. That's the thing about depression. It doesn't have to be a situation. There's not necessarily a trigger, always. It can come seemingly out of the blue, at least for me, it can.
Laura Martin
He came outside and sat down with me, and as we talked and our baby slept—like, so, he's so tiny—he looked at me with his kind eyes, and as gently as he could, said, "You know, you've been on and off medications for the past two decades. Maybe it's time to seek help again." And I was angry. I did not want to hear that. And then I was ashamed. I had a great life on the outside. I had a healthy baby, I had a loving husband, I had supportive family and friends. Why was I so blue?
Laura Martin
But then it occurred to me, maybe that's not what it was. Maybe it wasn't that I was making all the wrong decisions. Maybe it wasn't that I was a bad person, a story I loved to tell myself. Maybe, just maybe, it was something within me that was outside of my control, and if it was outside of my control, then it wasn't me doing something wrong. It wasn't me being bad, being dirty from my childhood abuse. It was none of that. It was about how I was wired, not who I was. If it was about how I was wired, then maybe I could get better.
Laura Martin
As we continued to talk about what was going on in my life, being an illness, not a character defect, an illness much like cancer or other illnesses, I came to a place of acceptance that made all the difference in my world. I had never accepted the fact that I did indeed have a mental illness. I just thought I was bad, and that's a really miserable place to be.
Laura Martin
Having a loving husband, he gently nudged me to call my doctor and seek help, which I did. I realized as I was seeking help and getting both psychiatric help—so, medications—as well as therapy, because for me, they needed to go hand in hand. I couldn't have one without the other. I slowly started realizing that maybe I could get better. I realized that I was a good person, that I am a good person, who suffers from a disease over which they have no control.
Laura Martin
My choice was to seek help from that moment on, and that meant getting on medications that, frankly, I don't want to take every day. I have a whole handful. I'm going to be 50, but a whole handful like, I feel like that's a lot, but I have a whole handful that I take every day so that I can be up here, scared but brave, and share my story with all of you in the hopes that you'll hear something and take it away and help yourself or somebody else. That's why we're all here. That's what storytelling is about. Hopefully you can relate to something.
Laura Martin
So, that was 15 years ago, and I still struggle with mental illness. However, today, I do not suffer from mental illness. Today, I am grateful for who I am. Thanks.
Kim Shine
That was Laura Martin, and she shared her story at a 2023 slam on mental health, which Ex Fabula conducted with the Medical College of Wisconsin.
Joel Dresang
That's all the time we have for this episode of Real Stories MKE, but there's plenty more storytelling where this came from. Ex Fabula has been around since 2009. It has more audio stories available at exfabula.org/radio.
Kim Shine
And of course, we've got more storytelling in the works. The Ex Fabula website lists upcoming workshops and slams, so you should go check it out and get involved. Share some of your stories. You can also connect with Ex Fabula on Facebook and Instagram and keep up with Real Stories MKE wherever you get your podcasts.
Joel Dresang
And thanks as well to all those who support this show, the public story slams and workshops, and Ex Fabula special projects, including Christine Symchych and Jim McNulty, CAMPAC, and Ex Fabula members.
Kim Shine
For Real Stories MKE, I'm Kim Shine.
Joel Dresang
And I'm Joel Dresang. Remember, everyone has stories worth sharing—better out than in.
